Don't be so hard on yourself... Cutting is not stupid. I used to view it as tearing myself apart or breaking myself down, it's the only thing that kept me sane and it saved my life. Once upon a time it's all that I could hold onto. It's the only tool that I had at one point in my life, and I'm grateful that it was there for me.  Life is hard, and coping with it can sometimes be very difficult. give yourself a break, and don't be so hard on yourself. We're our own worst critics sometimes. :)

i can see where you're coming from. like, sometime i just get so angry that i explode, and normally im so good at keeping anger controlled. and then i say stuff that i regret and then i feel bad and i if i've been starting to get back up i fall again and i cut. and m y moment of forgeting my pain comes from my friend and when i hangg out with him, but then he goes away and i remember that he has no idea that beneath the wristband is a cut and that he prefers my friend over me, and all that pain comes back. so i know what you mean by this. and i can't say it's going to get better, because frankly, i'm not so sure. but i can say that if we both try to find things that give us that forgetfulness for longer, maybe we can postpone the drop, and bring back an inch of permant happy. maybe.