1:27 and Praying for Sleep

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Well, last night was not a good night. I had a terrible nightmare that involved being chased, attacked, locked in some sort of torture house, etc and every time I would try to fall back asleep the dream would continue on and on. Around 1 I decided not to go back to bed. I was exhausted but I wasn’t going to keep putting my mind through that. 

I stayed up until 6, got ready for school and then collapsed on the couch in a Lorazapam haze. I took 3 mg today just to get some fucking sleep. But of course I slept until 5PM so now I’m up at 1:30 again. Oh the joy’s of sleep problems and depression…

At least I have a therapist appointment tomorrow. I’m not looking forward to her asking if I self-injured, mostly because I’ve promised myself not to lie, but admitting to it is so difficult. I hate it. It makes me feel like I’ve failed in a way. I may be recommended for day treatment again based on how things are going. I already dropped painting from this semester to gain another study hall, so hopefully that will help with school work. 

Everything has just been so frustrating recently, I just want to hide in my bed for the rest of the week. No, make that the rest of the year…

Well off to bed in hopes of getting some extra rest.

1 Comment

Sleeping problems and depression.Im one hundred percent with you there i was also on lerazapam.might still be.If only there was some magic pill that could do both,sleep and not be so depressed.Being honest with your therapist is great however very hard.I hope you get to feeling better.

   

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