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The night of May 22nd: I was with my friends and they were dropping me off at my parent's house, I would have spent the night with my friends, but the next day they had to get up early and get ready for graduation. I'm supposed to be graduating this year, but unfortunately, after a long, rocky high school career, I am not. Right as they pulled into my driveway for me to get out, I broke into tears. I didn't want this to happen, I didn't purposely fuck up my life, I didn't want to be the oddball out of my own group. My friends dropped me off and left, and that night I cried and howled and sliced the fuck out of myself and cutting the words 'what now?' into my thigh because I felt like my life was officially over. My mother didn't care, she completely avoided me the entire time, she tends to do that when I'm upset. After awhile I went to sleep and I woke up the next morning to my friend Kayla [the one who dropped me off] on the phone telling me that her parents would pick me up to attend comencement. I agreed and went, and despite the fact that the people I grew up with were all leaving me, I had an amazing day.

Since then, things have been pretty good, and I've realized that my life isn't over, yet. I still at least have the summer before everyone completely leaves me and I wish that it would last forever. I want to go crazy this summer. I'm going to make it memorable, I'm going to make it amazing, and I'm going to make it worth living.

This is my last summer that me and my friends and all of the people I love will be together. I want to cry at the thought of it, but I'll save that for when it's over because I don't want anything to ruin this summer for me.

To whoever reads this; for once in your life, do whatever the fuck you want [legally please!] and go fucking crazy and have fun. You won't regret it. Just make this the best summer of your life.