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So, I haven't posted in around 2-3 weeks. Life's been a little bit hecktic. In the past 2 weeks I've cut 3 times. It's just all piling up. I've got exams and I'm really scared. Also I feel totally alone and as if I'm having a depressive break down. Turns out the one person I thought I could talk to I
can't because they don't care .So much for support. I told them about my cutting in confidence, they told their best friend and then told me to go see a physcyitrist. <--sorry for the spelling.
So i cut after that, feeling completely and terribly alone in the world.
Today I also found out that my mum could have cancer. I completely broke down at this. I cried in front of my friends for the first time ever. I'm terrified and I blame myself. When I was younger I'd hoped I'd die by getting a terrible disease so I could die. I've been answered and my mother might be the one to suffer. I even prayed for forgiveness today. I got down on my knees and prayed so hard. An cried. Again.
It's official, life sucks. However one good thing is I have a new guy friend whom I'm talking to loads. Hopefully I'll be happy soon. I really, really hope I am.