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facing the facts,my life
Ok,so im sick of hiding behind my lies,you know how lies get tangled up in a web,and you eventually get lost,and think you'll never find the truth again? thats me,im believing my own lies.so im going to start from where i am now.im a 14 yr old girl,im only good writing,but too shy to let people see it.im the girl that takes the blame for everything that goes wrong,which comes out with cuts and scars all over her arms and legs.im the quiet girl that shys away from people,and cant keep a conversation if my life depended on it.im the girl that gets teased becuase other kids saw the red lines and gashes,and now gets notes thrown at her and shoved in her locker,telling her to kill herself,with the occasional noose tied to her lock.i have parents,my mom and a step dad,my real dad died in the army when i was 5.i have a little brother and sister,and i have no clue where my mom is.im the girl that gets beaten everyday,by a stepdad that loves alcohol more then us. im the girl who acts like an adult,making dinner,putting my siblings to bed,while doing all the house work.im the person who's best friend is a piece of metal,that goes up and down my arms and legs everyday,for reasons i dont even know,i guess for coping,maybe just cuz im crazy and need to be locked up somewhere.but thats it,this is who i am,and im trying to break out of my web of lies before it suffocates me to death,and i think its time for a change.

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It is a great deal of
2 years () (Permalink)It is a great deal of responsibility that you hold, especially for being so young. Believe that someday you will find a friend other than your blade and that there will come a time when things get better, this is what keeps me alive. You are in a good path (though it feels no where near "good"), breaking free from the lies is a start. Good luck :)
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Defining Yourself
2 years () (Permalink)I am sorry you had to endure all of this. However, I am so glad you have made the decision to stop lying to yourself. It seems like you are defining yourself through what happened to you and what you do. Those things do not define you, they they help shape you into what you are. I have struggled with defining myself and I was given this advise: When trying to define yourself, use adjectives. If you are unhappy with some of the adjectives you conjure up then make the decesion to change them.
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