I don't feel like I'm whole. I'm hollow, just a shell. And I don't feel much of anything these days. Well ok it's only been three or four days, but that's long enough right? And when I'm not a shell I feel agony and despair. There are only two people in my life that can make me smile on the inside as well as the outside in my life at the mo. I guess I want to write this to lay out things that happened to me before feeling left me. My stepmother thinks everything I say is a lie. About my "situation" and my "problems". I'm not but that doesn't seem to sink into her head. No I have never been totally forthcoming with information about, well...me but I haven't told an out right lie. And she thinks that I'm going to turn my little sister into a cutter. I wouldn't want to turn my worst enemy into a cutter if I had a worst enemy, let alone my own sister. She believes I tell my sister too much about myself and my problems and that I'm burdening her. Truth is my sister and I talk more about my lil sis than we do about me cause I don't like talking about myself much. She gave me the cold shoulder the whole weekend I was at my dad's house. She and my dad have been watching how much I text and say that I'm texting more than I normaly do so I need to not text as much. Um last time I checked I am a teenager.
My mother has been moody lately. Its probably cause the weather's bad but whatever. The words she said about two weeks ago, "you make my life miserable" are still echoing through my head. Along with the words lier, failure, and stupid. They are haunting my mind. So I guess thats why I feel hollow, numb. If I don't feel the words can't hurt. I've been going through life in a daze. And I'm not sure if I want to come out of it.