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I'm Scared

Two weeks ago (which I've been cutting since I was 11, now I'm 17) I cut my arm sorta deep. I told my mom, she told my dad, and I told my therapist awhile back before they knew. I said I wouldn't do it again and well I've been stressed out. well I really trashed my legs about a week ago and I told my mom about it (I tell her everything almost), but she waited until yesterday to ask to see what I did.
I feel horrible. I told her EVERYTHING. About me worrying that I'm going to somehow fail at everything, that my dog is getting old, that something is going to happen to her or my dad, about what people think, about me feeling like a burden, how I've tried to think positive, how I've been sleeping to ignore my problems, and how I think I should die sometimes because it could be God's plan for me.
She started crying, saying what did she do wrong.
She said that she was thinking of having me admitted tomorrow, but she is going to talk to someone first and see if they can put me on some anxiety medication or something.
I'm so scared that my chest hurts and that I'm going to get put in one of those places again. Read more »


imnotheresooo Blog entry published by 2 years ago ()

I've Stopped

Yeah. Last day of school too :D
School is soooooooo stressful.
I have a feeling I might start back when school does.
My mom seen my cuts.
then she told my dad.
then they told my therapist.
I was soooo scared theyd send me to a nuthouse like they did 2 and a half years ago.
but they didnt and i said i would never do it again.
and im trying not to and i have not since the 29th of may.

But i keep having reoccurring dreams about cutting myself.
Its happened twice.
:(


imnotheresooo Blog entry published by 2 years ago ()