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I posted a blog on here a little while ago called 'Letting Go' all about how I was able to stop self harming because I was finally able to forgive those who had hurt me and let go of my past. I realised recently however that there is a difference between forgiving others and allowing people to take advantage of you and walk all over you.

About 8 or 9 months ago I had a few issues with my 2 'best friends'. We had been close for about 5 years and then my world came crashing down and I realised they werent the people I thought they were. I found out they had been saying really awful stuff about me behind my back and I was unbelievably upset by it all. However, I didnt want to lose them as friends. I confronted them both about it but I tried to do it in a non-confrontational way. They apologised as I decided to forgive them. I thought everything went back to normal. I realised a few nights ago how wrong I was and the bitching about me and insulting me and discussing me behind my back had been going on continuosly since then. I was so upset and again confronted them about it.

This time I took a different approach however and told them both I couldnt be close to them anymore. After being hurt once I had forgiven them and I realised if I were to do the same again I would just be being walked all over. And besides, who really needs friends like those? So now my motto is: forgive those who hurt you once, let go of those who hurt you twice - only then can you lose your hurt. I try and stick by it as much as possible.

There is only one exception to my rule - my Dad. No matter how many times he hurts me I still cannot lose that glimmer of hope that one day he will change, one day he will love me and one day he will be a part of my life. So I do understand my theory doesn't always work but I have forgiven him for what he has done in the past and feel at peace with him for now.

I guess I am trying to get this all off my chest and hope that maybe someone can take something from what I have said and apply it to help themselves?