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An Exception to Rule 34
Printer-friendly versionThey say you can find any kind of porn you want on the internet. There's even a rule about it: Rule 34. If someone can think it up, there's porn of it.
However, I seem to have found one of the exceptions to this rule, or at least in the land of erotica.
Try as I might, I cannot find pictures of people (I generally search for women, since women are depicted more often in porn/erotica) with scars, particularly self-induced scars.
I'm not looking for amputee porn or anything extravagant like that. I'm not even sexually interested in the pictures. I just want to see that somewhere out there, someone will think I'm beautiful despite my scars.
Everytime I look in the mirror, I'm reminded that I'm imperfect, disfigured, that my body shows the war that happens inside my head everyday.
It's gotten to the point that if I had the resources (ie, people to volunteer), I would create this kind of thing myself. Not for the sexual aspect, just to put it out there, to help myself, the models and anyone with scars who views it see that they can be, and are, beautiful.
I feel people need to be more open about SI. I think this is the only way we can bring down the numbers: making it something that's okay to talk about, something not so completely taboo.
I know that SI goes against one of the most basic human instincts, and that this is one of the reasons it's so hard to talk about: it's hard to comprehend how a person can intentionally cause themself harm.
I think in order for SI to be more "acceptable" to talk about, it needs to be known that it happens. People who self-injure need to know that there are others out there who do it too, and that they can ask for help. That's why I believe self-injury.net is such a great site.
We need to be seen as people, not monsters, not objects of pity. We have strength, we have beauty; I just want this to be recognized.
Well, I guess that's it for my little rant. I guess, in closing, I'll circle back to what I was saying in the beginning:
I just want to know that despite the scars, the marks, the stories that go with them, I can still be beautiful and wanted.
Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()
Comments
"not okay"
1 year () (Permalink)I feel the same way...I hate how much SI is considered a taboo. People haven't come to terms that it's an actual PROBLEM people need help with-just like any other addiction or sickness. I have scars on my upper thighs, my stomach, my ribs..thankfully the ones on my arms have faded.. I have marks on my calves from scratching too hard as well. Recently when I look in the mirror I feel the same way..just not beautiful..I feel like i damaged myself in a way that no one will ever relate to..like no one will ever be able to love me because of my issues and the marks I've left behind. I also think it would help if people put it out there. We all feel so alone cuz most people who SI hide it.. It's "not okay" to talk about it. I never thought about it before but pictures sound like a great idea. When I get a camera I hope to try it someday. Maybe seeing myself in a differnt light would help.
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Beauty is more than skin deep
1 year () (Permalink)I am kind of hoping to do a "photoshoot" with my boyfriend when I get back into the states (He a self-injurer as well), just showing that people with scars are still people, and can be beautiful and sexy.
Honestly, my ideal would be to gather enough photos, enough willing models to create a website featuring those with scars. Not as porn or even erotica, just a way to get the knowledge out there that self-injurers exist, and are people too, and can still be beautiful.
If I can get enough people who would be willing to send in pics/be models, I would definitely love to start up this site. It wouldn't have to be sexual, it's really just an artistic thing. Clothed or unclothed, doesn't matter. My models could remain faceless, or identify themselves. I also don't want something that can be accused of portraying SI as glorious, because as anyone who self-injures knows, it's truly not. The point is really just to get the idea out there that we do exist and that we can still be beautiful.
Sorry, I know I'm rambling and being redundant, but it's really important to me that SI become something that can be talked about, and I want to help that happen in any way I can.
So (shameless self-promotion), if you or anyone you know might be interested in it, feel free to ask me about it. Like I said, if there's enough interest, I'd love to do it. Of course, I'd set the site up and people could look around first, so it wouldn't be like randomly sending these personal pictures to some random person lol. Of course, I also understand how personal something like this is and that many people wouldn't be comfortable with it. So, I don't want to pressure anyone. I just need help if I want to get this off the ground. :)
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