So I was super drunk last time I cut. So drunk in fact that I decided to write a blog about it WHILE I was cutting. Good going, me. My one friend who I talk to about all this stuff felt sick when she saw those cuts, and that's saying something.
Maybe not. Anyways, I learnt how stupidly hard it is to take care of them and not be in horrendous pain ALL THE TIME while touristing around Singapore. Since I only brought two bandages and some band-aids and no scissors, I really had to improvise and not let my travelling partners know what was going on. In the end, basically all my shorts and dresses have just gross bloodiness on them from my depressing, depressing need to slice myself open. Difficult to explain away at the best of times. Even harder when you spend every waking (and sleeping) minute with two of your closest friends, you envy your "strength". The may only drunkenly envy my strength, but I'm leading them astray anyways. Pah
I really should've gotten stitches this time, but let's face it, that's never going to happen. Imagine the conversation at the hospital.
"How did this happen?"
"Knife fight... with a dwarf. A really short dwarf, who could only reach my thighs...and had a tiny knife"
"No really? And what about these scars?"
"WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK?!"
If that ever happened, it'd probably get at least a bronze in the awkward olympics.
To be honest, I'm more worried about Rocketgirl, the only person I can really share with. She's so negative all the time! About herself, about what's going on. Even my head is positive sometimes. More than half the time actually. But she can't see anything good in herself, she just finds tiny things in life to hate. It can't be fun inside her brain.
I mean, if you have to find insignificant things in everyday life that piss you off and concentrate all your energy on it, what does that say about the significant things in yur life that you hate? Like your body or your personality?
I think next semester I'm just going to have to drag her to the psychologist with me. That is... if I ever go. Which I will! Maybe