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whyd he have to go?
Have you ever felt that ur truely happy? that one person can fill u up and ull be good forever? have u been inlove so deeply that u couldnt live with out him? i have. Then he was ripped out of my life.
when chris went to treatment i thought id b okay. i was wrong. i had emotional ups and downs, cried myself to sleep so many nights. then he went to a group home. i broke up with him, so he can get his head on straight and get healthy. then felt like i had a huge hole in my heart. like i wasnt complete without him. which im not. that was the 20th of jan. that i broke up with him.
the next coming sunday i started going out with a guy named brad at school. it was a mistake. he just wanted sex. he dint get a rats booty about me. i got rid of him yesterday. but i still wanted to fill that hole in me. therefor i started going out with this guy named tyler. i mean yea i like him, but not enough to make that hole completely gone, only chris can fill that.
i mean i feel like im pathetic, going out with ppl to make me happy (even though i do like them) but i honestly dont know what else to do. i just want chris back or that hole to b filled.
i just wish i could be happy by myself. *sigh* i dont think ill ever be able to do that. :'( oh well....

Comments
Voids are horrible
1 year () (Permalink)Aww i'm so sorry, I know what it's like relapsing when you've been no SI for so long (mine was three years). I couldn't agree more voids in life are horrible and just make life harder, they need to just disapper into the darkness and never return.
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Your NOT pathetic
1 year () (Permalink)Hi I can't say i know how that feels to have the person you love so much ripped out of your life. But there is no reason to feel pathetic your going through a lot and copeing with it the way you know how and that's by trying to fill that void in your life. One thing that I know is the pain of being in love with someone so much that you'd do anything for them and you'd rather have them in your life (knowing they will never return your feelings) then not in your life at all.
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thanks
1 year () (Permalink)yes im trying to deal with it the best i can. sometimes it just does make me feel pathetic. it made me quit my no si streak of 8months. i cut last night. *sigh* stupid voids in life need to just go away.
thanks for the conment tho :)
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