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well i relasped. i cut 3 times, a 2in, 1.5in and a 1in long. just deep enough to bleed. boy do i regret it. i told my gma on friday, she was so sad. but she understands cuz she used to cut too. i

the strange this is it dint feel like it used to.  i think it just made things worse for me. it didnt make me feel likei was on top of the world like it used to. i wish i could have that. the only thing that really makes me feel like that is when im kissing guys or things like that. i wish i dint have to do that do feel good though.

before i relasped i just felt so hallow, like there was nothing to look forward to. like no one cared. i mean my bffs i thought i had threw me away. then the ppl i thought i had there for me, were unavailable, which i thought they ditched. my soul mate is gone, probably forever (chris) and i just felt like my current bf (tyler) wouldnt understand. even though he did, kinda.

i did tell my friends, the ones that oringinally knew. plus on friday i told tyler, he didnt know tell then, he was sad about it. he didnt understand why i do that, but he didnt make me feel bad about or anything. he had a family member that comitted actaully. he doesnt think i should do that, but doesnt really say much about it. he is super shy in general so...

im not having any urges what so ever which is awesome. i dont plan on cutting ever again. which is awesome.

im not sure what else to say.....so yeah......toodles

<3tigz