Someone said to me.. that i have a tendency to go and help those who are in need and that i am a very nice person.
I never thought of myself that way. i thought i was just being reckless and rebellious.
I like to see people happy, despite the fact that i can not bring it out of myself. If my presence brings out the best in others then i enjoy hanging out when them. But once they are their happy self again... i feel awkward hanging around them... I feel as if there is something dark in side me.. thats going to make them dark and unhappy people again. ... which is probably true.
My friend recently got married.. she seems so happy, carefree and trusting. I wonder how can people be like that. Is it because she had a good childhood? a nuclear family...
i wonder if my past had damaged me. That i can never trust, feel worthy... can someone love me even if i'm damage goods? that i will always have a bit of doubt in life.