I just passed another birthday.. the numbers keep going up.. but inside.. i feel the same.. haven't changed one bit. Still alive.. didn't think i would make it this far. .... still living day to day.. aimlessly.. pointless.
I've stop cutting for a little over 2 years.. did it make me happier? Nope. Am I still pretending to be happy? Yup. Do i still have the urge to cut? Yup. Still wondering what is the purpose of living? Yup
- Growing up.. experienced shit dump on you and dealing with it.. yup check
- Started cutting.. Continued to high school and university. yup check
- Moved out- Got my own place- Check
- Got a career- made enough money to support myself- Yup check.
-Relationship? Marriage? .. its all nice and warm when it starts... but all good things will end. and it will hurt twice as much
-Having kids - hell no. for him/her to experience what i went through.. taking care of someone else when i don't give a fuck about myself.. like really?!?
- Divorce.. all that work you put into it.. comes crashing down.. how many years wasted? have to find the will to live again?!? so painful.
- Growing old.. still working.. putting time in pension. waiting for retirement..
- Retirement - waiting for death.. ha ha Read more »