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i dont know what to do . i hate my self so much . i cant stand myself . i hate myself i hate myself  so bad it hurts . im not miserable id never want to take anyones happiness away. infact it makes me happy to see people happy. i cry when my loved ones are treated horrible. i feel as though i tried but i havent tried hard enough . he sucked the life out of me i dont want to try for anything. im all types of wrong. i want the wrong things . im in a bad place and im scared im going to hurt myself im just a step away . if my mom says the wrong thing to me or anything. i may give up . i think about death too much too much, its all i think about i dont want to die i want life to be easy i want to be loved i want to be loved i want to be loved . i need it. i love you i love you i love you . my dad wont even answer the phone anymore ahhhhhh my sister is in a abusive relationship, my mom talks to me like i killed someone she loved , my grandma wont even admit she watched me get molested n didnt say anything about it, im stuck here stuck , im tryin though i am , its just every fucking time i make the right move someone is always their to make me want to hate myself even more. i love my brother he loves me , but  i dont think its enough for me to stay in this world. i want to die so bad, the only time i feel good about myself is when im having sex. and thats not even enough anymore. he dosent care about me . and whats worse is when u know the person dosent care but they try and act like they do . id love anyone who just told me they care i just want to b loved and love back so bad thats all i ever wanted is love love love love, i want it so bad the only love i have is my 9 year old brother , i give him so  much love he can barely take my kisses , i have alot to give out i want to love , i want someone to tell me they love . I LOVE YOU ,