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I'm sad

so i haven't been on in a while and i miss you guys. How are yall doing?
I'm doing awful lately. Purging some here and theere. Havent' cut in a while...if they catch me again, they'll academically withdraw me from my classes (i'm  afreshie in college now) it's so hard.

All I want to do is drink, purge and cut. and i've done the first two a bunch lately. see, something really bad happened a few weeks ago and i feel disgusting. anyway, i miss you guys. hope you all reply...

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Blog entry published by 7 months ago ()

:(

I AM SO FAT> I HATE MY BODY. I HATE ME! ALL I THINK ABOUT IS MAKING MYSELF THROW UP NOW. And exercising. I can hardly keep anything down. I hate this hell. And I don't. At the same time> I make no sense :(

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Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()

why...?

must I feel guilty about eating the tiniest bit of food?
must I overexercise?
must I obsess over this?

Yes. Why? Because I'm fat, useless, worthless, fat, ugly, fat, fat, fat. i hate my body. I am so stupid. I have no control over what I eat and don't eat anymore. I'm a failure.


Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()

why...?

must I feel guilty about eating the tiniest bit of food?
must I overexercise?
must I obsess over this?

Yes. Why? Because I'm fat, useless, worthless, fat, ugly, fat, fat, fat. i hate my body. I am so stupid. I have no control over what I eat and don't eat anymore. I'm a failure.

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Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()

Useless Space

That's what I feel like. A big blop of useless space who has no purpose. Sometimes, I just want to...disappear...

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Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()

Inadequate (NEVER good enough)

Freezing cold,

Wondering if I'm EVER going to get any better.

I'm sick. I know that. I know I'm sick. Most other people don't though.
The problem is that people can't see the kind of sick I am...I'm sick in the HEAD. That's right. I'm CRAZY.

However, most people don't see past the shy and quite, "sweet little Hannah" facade.

The facade they created.

Assuming I'm perfect. Assuming there's nothing wrong. Assuming, when they ask me how I am and I answer, "Good", that I'm telling the truth when I'm not.

Assuming that there's nothing wrong with me.

Assuming that there can't be anything wrong with me because my dad is the preacher, I make straight A's, and atm (hopefully, it'll stay this way...i'm a senior so i think it will), I'm number 10 in my class.

Then, my parents...ugh! They don't get anything. Read more »

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Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()

:/

SCREW IT! I am SO FREAKING SICK of my parents pretending they care.
I am so freaking sick of my mom freaking out at the drop of a freaking hat.

I hate it. I hate it all.

"We love you Hannah" Well, whatever to it if they do. I don'te ven fuckging care anymore. The other dayu I threw my plate away. I guess I didn't pretend I'd eaten long enough. So I threw it away like five minutes after i got it and my mom's all did you eat and i'm all yes. she tells me to flip the plate over. i push the plate donw into the trash can abnd put a bunch of trash on top.

I'm so sick of it. My frieend said i was tiny yesterday and today. I don't see it. I'm 124 pounds!!!!!!!!!! I'm hugeeee!!!!!  :( :( :( I hate my freaking body. I'm only 4'11. Read more »

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Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()

I don't know what to do

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Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()

I NEED to be thin...

Its notjust a want anymore. its a NEED. i dont care if its not safe. ill do whatever it takes to lose weight. WHATEVER it takes. i normally dont really eat. and exercise a good bit. or i binge on way too much food. starving or binging. but whatever. i just need to lose a lot of weight. im normally around 134 or 135...but fluctuate about 4 pounds. see? how gigantically huge i am? im 4'11. and really fat. im going to do whatever it takes to be thin...

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Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()

No one cares...I'm worthless

Ello mates. I just felt like talking like I was from Austrailia for a moment.

Anyway, I overdosed last night. Took 17 Aleve. And some other pills.

I feel worthless, useless, hopeless, lifeless. I feel dead.

And I kind of wish I was.

I feel like there's no purpose in my life. Never has been. Never will be.

I'm worhless. No one cares....

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Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()

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