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I miss him so much...
Printer-friendly versionSome of you may already know this, but I'm going to post it anyway...I miss him so much...
Back in October, on October 20, Erick "Goot" Guiterrez (not sure if I spelled his last name right) died of a heart attack on the football field at football practice. It was a college/senior night thingy in the gym. But he was at football practice. It was a Wednesday. I remember, my sister and I heard there that he was going to the hospital...they weren't sure what was wrong then. Anyway, they took him to the hospital. My family and I left. We all went to Subway. My sister had sent a forward that she had gotten about him being in the hospital.
And we were in Subway...and she got a couple of texts that said he died. I remember just standing there with my pizza in shock. My sister was sitting there crying. Or standing there. In the middle of Subway. I was in shock. They all finally came out...Tricia (my sister), Sarah (her best friend...who lived with us for three months straight), and my dad. i can't remember if my little sister was there. But I remember setting my pizza in front of the microwave. And as soon as Tricia and Sarah went to her room...or their room really, Momma gave me a hug. And I just started crying.
And then that night, I remember thinking...please. God, Please let this be a joke. Please. Let someone come in here and tell me it was all a joke. Some huge, cruel joke. But it wasn't. And I miss him. A lot...
And I don't know...I just, I miss him. A lot. And sometimes, you know, I think it was my fault. Cause I didn't get to know him better. And I should have. I miss him. SO MUCH.
Words can't express how much I miss him.
Our school is really small too. So, you know, it just hit so much harder, I guess.
I know that was a really long time ago. But I miss him. So much.
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I miss GOOT too, i miss you
1 year () (Permalink)I miss GOOT too, i miss you bro, i remember that day clearly, i remember him saying good bye to me as i walked by the lunch not realizing that his good bye was for real a good bye, everyday i think about i know that he was ready to be in paradise and was letting me know, the worst thing i had to do was i had to tell my brother that his Best friend was in the hospital and that he wasn't looking good. it broke my heart knowing that his family had to go through that pain, i pray for them everyday. i went through a situation that i almost died in but GOOT saved me. Thank you Bro, I love you and miss you!! Hope your loving Heaven!!
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:( I still miss him a lot. :(
1 year () (Permalink):( I still miss him a lot. :( I"m sorry for all that you've been through. I love and miss him so much too...
"Now, don't pretty please me.You're not making it easy to slow me down. It's no wonder I'm not eating & I'm not sleeping."
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Thank you so much for the
1 year () (Permalink)Alice, thank you so much for the comment.
Dude, this made me cry.
I am so sorry that happened. That has to be horrible.
I have really got to tell all those stupid guys in my youth group to not play the "choking game" anymore.
I don't know if they still do. But they used to.
And I'd miss them like crazy if any of them died.
Just like I miss Goot,,,so much.
"Now, don't pretty please me.You're not making it easy to slow me down. It's no wonder I'm not eating & I'm not sleeping."
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I know how you feel
1 year () (Permalink)There was this kid at my school, Jason. He was always kindof weird, and he was a year behind me. But eventually we started hanging out, then dating. But he started acting weird again, and almost sortof stalking me, which made me uncomfortable. I asked him to back off, but he didnt listen, so i ended it. Later, he moved to Fortuna. (Its this iiiiiitty bitty little one-gas-station, no Starbucks town). He started emailing and calling me, and we came up with stupidwonderfulcrazy idea to un-meet eachother, then re-friend. So we dropped contact for a couple weeks then met online (myspace) and i named him new-friend Jason. and we talked and all.
once, i was all messed up cuz of my stepdad, and he vidchatted me just so he could make me look into his eyes when he said "Don't worry, Alice. I'll always be with you."
but last year about two days before Samhain (halloween) he was found dead, hanging from the inside of the banister on his stairs. NO. It wasnt right. it couldnt have been him. it wasnt him. not my Jason. they made a mistake. some other short gamer dude snuck into his house and died. Not my Jason.
but it was. that... idiot... died playing the "choking game". thats where people purposefully asphyxiate themselves to get high. My Jason died because of a stupid game trying to get EFFING HIGH!!!!! I couldnt drive up to Fortuna for his funeral, and i probably should have. Its like... i keep expecting him to just pop up on myspace and be like Hey, Alice. Guess what? I just kicked some total Horde ass!!! But my group left so you should come online so i can stop lfg...
But he never does. Never will. And I miss him to death. Every time someone walks into my room, they ask me why I have a picture of some kid who obviously ISNT my bf on my wall. I tell them its a tribute and the go quiet and look away. And deep in my heart, I hear him say, "Don't worry, Alice. I'll always be with you."
♥ Alice
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