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when i have the choice i dont eat or i chew food up & spit it out. but if im with my parents or anyone else really, im like forced to eat. and i hate that. either way, i do AT LEAST 100 push-ups a day. ive started doing crunhes and stretches. i also jog/run in place a lot. yes even if i havent eaten anything that day, i still do at least 100 push-ups. this is the only thing i can control..me and my fat self. i NEED to control this. i like the unbearable pain some of the exercises cause...is thdre anything wrong with me? people that know keep begging me to stop. but i dont want to. and even if i wanted to idont think i could...

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Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()

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shard_of_light (not verified)

That's a lot of press ups!

1 year () (Permalink)

I can barely do 20! I so need you as a training partner to get me more active. It would be a good idea to eat something though. But I can hardly talk, I'm not eating properly either. 

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ashtraylips ashtraylips

I don't want to be

1 year () (Permalink)

I don't want to be condescending, but honestly, everything you have described is evident in anorexia nervosa and anorexia athletica. This is something you should seriously seek help for; one of my cousins (and one of the people I am closest to) has anorexia. The problem with anorexia is how much more obvious it is to the people around you, and this means it's emotionally hurting way more people than just yourself. Please think about these things!! Best wishes

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Gabrielle Gabrielle

Be careful with that. I'm

1 year () (Permalink)

Be careful with that. I'm sure you know how much eating disorders affect your physical well being. I do know how hard it is to overcome. Even to this day my thoughts venture to ED related behaviors when I am physically aware of the weight of my body. They can lessen with time though but, you're right, you have to want it.

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