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What would you need from your parents to help???
Printer-friendly versionMy daughter is a cutter and is so miserable. She has gotten to the point that she is shut down, numb, and is acting like she doesn't give a crap about anything. I feel so helpless right now. I can's hardly function right now. I want to save her!!!! I don't know how! I want to take this pain from her! I want my baby back....(I know she is 14, but she is still my baby)
Please let me know if there is anything that your parents can do for you to help what would it be? What would it take to help open you up? What would help you feel?
Feel free to say anything. I am not here to judge and don't. Please speak freely as anything less will not help. I am not easily offended and I do understand. I have helped many with this and have been through similar things myself. It just seems to be different with Anna being my daughter. I don't know how to help her.
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wish I could help
1 year () (Permalink)I'm a little older then your daughter, but I think if my mother confronted me about it I'd be mortified. I don't want my mom to know that I do these things. But I like having a lot of attention from her, that's just me. I'm different from most women my age and it kinda sucks. Just be there for her is the best thing I think you can do. I hope things get better.
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my parents and friends
1 year () (Permalink)When my parents found out, they didn't really do anythin. I toldmy mom and she told me we would get through it. After that, they more or less just acted like it never happened. I agree that she should write you a letter. It is so much easier to write something rather than say it out loud. My friends were a mixed bag. One told me that a was a crazy psychopath who was going to die and refused to talk about it. Even now when I tell her how long I've been clean or anything like that, she just rolls her eyes and turns away. Don't do that. Be honest with her. Ask her how she is and let her know how much you care. Don't go crazy on her. If you just yell and scream, she'll just feel alienated and hated and alone. If ou get her a therapist or a counselor, make sure she likes them. I had to see my school counselor for a while and she was awful. She believes anything I told her, and she manipulated me into signing a form saying that she could tell my parents anything she wanted. She never told them anything. Just make sure she knows that you love her and support her. Like AshleyLove said, help her to be happy.
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Oh goddess.
1 year () (Permalink)Well when my mum found out she toook my arm and tried to force me to show her. She got me therapists i didn't like and took away my rasor blades and everything .
She tried everything from putting me on meds to making sure I was always with someone , but that made me even more angry so I went from cutting to hitting myself with objects and such.
To be honest , I agree with ashleylove. Just find whats making her unhappy and such.
Those who anger you , conqure you.
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my parents...
1 year () (Permalink)Be kind with her, When my parents found out they yelled and yelled and yelled. They made me feel horrible about myself, They told me i was stupid and selfish. it went on for hours. I won't ever forget that night. Just be nice and tell her you love her and that you will get through it together and it won't change the way you feel about her. Thats all i wanted from my parents but they didn't give me that. They slowly let it go, but if they ever found out again, i'm afraid the yelling would be worse. They threatened to take all of my sharp things away, EVERYTHING, even things that you wouldn't ever cut with. They asked if i needed to be sent to a farm. It was horrible. Just love her. Help her be happy. Find the major source of unhappiness in her life and help her overcome it. All i want from my parents is a hug and to know they will still love me no matter what choices i make.
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When my parents found out,
1 year () (Permalink)When my parents found out, they went a little over board. I think they just wanted me to know they cared. Take her to a therapist. She'll probably share more when you're not in the room, so even though you want to know what she's feeling, leave her alone with the therapist. Also, make sure she likes the therapist. Mine was crazy and I hated her. Don't go through her belongings searching for blades or reading her journal (my parents do that) and don't threaten to "cut check" her (make her take off all her clothes to reveal any new cuts.) Trust her. That's all she really wants.
After my parents found out, they were really nice for a while. Then after I had convinced them I was "fine" they went back to being themselves (abusing me verbally and physically.) Don't do that. Don't put her down. Encourage her to be what she wants to be, but try not to bring up cutting very often.
I also agree with Alycia123- have her write you a letter. It's hard to say things to the face of people you know care about you. I know I don't want to hurt anyone. And if she writes it out, she can have plenty of time to word everything exactly how she wants to and she won't say anything she regrets. If you have any questions about what you should do in some situation, feel free to message me. :)
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." ~1 Peter 5:7
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she needs you
1 year () (Permalink)id want them to understand... id want them to hug me and tell me they love me and were gonna get through this... id want them to get me help idk how serious her cutting is if she needs a program or hospitalized ill tell u its alot i needed my parents to make calls and pick me up and take me to therapy its was alot and i really needed my mom and im the oldest of 4 so it really took a toll on her having a husband 4kids (one whos going down the drain) and a full time job so im telling u this is gonna be tough and u need to do everything u can to get her the help she needs... when i went to a program they told my mom to take away the razors she didnt when i went to the hospital she came after the ambulance got there to take me when i called her a hour before they came.. ask your daughter to write you a letter when i went to therapy thats what i did for my mom to tell her all the things i couldnt say to her face even though we were close i gave her the letter when we had a family therapy session. the most important thing is just be there for u let her know and feel like she can come to u and if she does ull understand idk how much u know about addiction or cutting but if u dont know or understand get books or read about it online or ask people about there stories on here. my mom is an alcoholic so she kinda understood but my dad did not... is u need more tips or wanna talk more feel free to message me
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Whenever I told my father, he
1 year () (Permalink)Whenever I told my father, he ignored it if not encouraged it and my mother got me a therapist. If your daughter does not have a therapist already, get her one. It sounds like your describing me, not your daughter. -cade
im a recovering burner/cutter/ and wristbanger. i have depression and think of suicide all the time. :(
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