Most of my old friends aren't even here anymore... but I still feel comfort here. But I wanted to tell something more less in this post...

An anonymous person lately has come and saw through me, and whoever this person is, I love them because they have really helped me. I explained him my venting issue... and he taught me there's a balance.

My next mystery... what kind of balance? Maybe venting only when somethings happening? or memories haunt me...

That sadly, has happened a lot lately. My families been fighting a lot...

Several months ago I stopped coming on here because my computer came downstairs, its back in my room now but I didn't come back yet still.

I was on a streak of no self-injury at all. Thing were happier, better, and I felt like I didn't need the support anymore.

boy was I wrong.

On the 6th hurt hit me when I found out my best friend online, I met her here as NotQuiteNormal, committed suicide that morning.

I can't help but blame myself because the way she died, I told her about those things as a warning to be careful... she still did them,

the past several months I've had issues with my mom, but they were calming down,

the very day after my mom mentions suicide again.

I found out yesterday on the 11th my friend Jesse almost died in a car accident.

My best friend in real life can't come to see me as much and stuff because she is having family issues.

my mom mentioned suicide again the 16th.

Things started getting a little stressful with school and all, so about the 3rd I started picking again... ending my five month streak.

I just felt like giving up, and I started to really miss everyone here.

No matter how annoying I was you always listened, but I can't help but feel I have nothing to complain about,

So I just kind of hide.

Lani realized that the night before she died.

My friend in real life, my only one, is moving very soon. Today I saw someone bring boxes and plastic bins to hold things in. Leanesse is amazing to me, I really love her alot, and even though she is not moving to far away, its not longer a walkable distance, and I like that walkable distance, so whenever I need her I know she'll be there to give me a hug. I feel like crying now. ):

Hope

 Locked up,

Alone in life,

Confused with words,

Trying to find my way.

I need someone,

To understand,

And help heal the scars,

Because I’m crazy at heart,

And my head lies in the clouds.

But is that really bad?

What does it really do that hurts anything?

 Chorus:

Give me hope now,

Lost soul,

Sullen,

And broken,

I’ve lost my way.

Oh please give me hope now,

Because I have a hard time,

Believing you’ll help me one day,

Please oh please,

Give me hope now.

 I run to people,

Trying to find a listener,

But in the end it always hurts,

Because they eventually leave you behind.

I’m the forgiving type,

The much too forgiving.

I am one who you could almost murder,

Not even apologize to,

And we would be friends again,

And you could go again,

And I’d still forgive you.

Chorus:

Give me hope now,

Lost soul,

Sullen,

And broken, Read more »