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I hate
I hate being bombarded by the urge to cut.
I hate looking at my scars, and wishing they would go away.
I hate that after seeing my scars, a blade, a lighter, etc, I long with my whole body to cut.
I hate this neverending cycle of cut, bleed, hate, need, cut, bleed, hate, pity, decline, need, cut, bleed, regret.
I hate looking in the mirror and seeing the hollow look in my eyes, the slashes on my body.
I hate this obsession.
I hate that it has control of me.
I hate that I let it control me.
I hate me.

Comments
Don't hate and regret
1 year () (Permalink)I live by this, of never rergeting what you do. I can't say I'm not guilty of hating myself, but I shouldn't, you shouldn't. In the end there is only you. Only you to live your life. Doing good things or bad things, there is nothing that can change that. Don't regret. You hate the obssession and addiction, so keep focusing on changing what you can. On what you want to change.
I can totally relate to being racked with those urges, no matter what time of day or how I feel. I'm going through it myself. Always here to listen. I'm more of the type to wish better on others than myself, since I'm not a great example of change, will or resilence. Be strong, be safe.
I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body.
I want a perfect soul.
~"Creep" Radiohead
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Thanks
1 year () (Permalink)Thanks, words of support are always nice to hear. :]
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