God! what s wrong with me? im such a screw up,tha's why he hits me,that's why i cut too. if only i could be a little closer to normal,then we might be a happy family again. i don't see why i can't make him happy,only vodka does,if  i could do something right,maybe he won't hit me as much,or mom would come from her "trip" and we'll go to the creek and laugh and play,maybe. but she's been gone for months,and he's not getting any better,every night,he's drunk,he's screaming,he's hitting,and im getting bruised up.not to mention the scars.i guess really all that i can do,is cut,and cover up bruises and black eyes,and pray that this stops soon,before we all get seriously hurt,and i kill myself,and hope she comes home.