I haven't been able to sleep for the past two/three weeks. I stay up all day, I stay up all night. If I'm lucky I'll nod off for thirty mins or an hour at max. However, that is not always the case. I feel like a zombie, I feel like a shell, and I feel like I am outside of my body looking down. Looking down upon this sad, strange girl that nobody wants anything to do with. I haven't cut in so long, I assume it's because I have started smoking more and more, but I'm not really sure. The urge is always there, though. It taunts and eats at me every single day. I am getting closer and closer to that breakig point every second. I know myself, sorta, and the second I pick up that triangle blade and dig it into my skin I will not be able to stop. It will consume me like it always does. It will be in my every thought, in every particle I inhale, in every particle I exhale, it will be in the mirror, in my food, in the water, in the car, in my eyes, it will be everywhere. Like always. Like always.