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Day 15.

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So far I have gone 15 days without cutting. Me attempting to recover has sent me further into my depression, in the last 15 days I have been more suicidal then I have been in three years. I really do want to recover but I had no idea that I would feel like this, I thought recovering would make me feel so much better. But I can't cut. If I cut my brother will.. and if I cut to where no one can see I will feel like a liar, I would have betrayed him. I have no idea what I should do. When I was cutting I could go a month or more without cutting, but now its different, I can't cut now. I want to so bad, I don't enjoy feeling this way. The only thing that helped me through the past almost four years of my life was cutting, now it's gone. I want it back...

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WoahAbbey Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()

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WoahAbbey WoahAbbey

Thank you.

1 year () (Permalink)

Thank you everyone for helping me. I really needed to hear that others think I can do this. I hope you guys are doing better, and if you ever need someone to talk to I'm all ears.

The shepard of the damned.

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EverybodysFool EverybodysFool

Try not thinking of it as

1 year () (Permalink)

Try not thinking of it as trying to stop, because that made me crazy just how it is for you. Now I think of it as "I will only cut when I absolutely positively need to" and when I think that I really need to cut, I keep telling myself that it's not that bad and I don't absolutely need to. This might not work for you, but it's helped me. And of course I slipped up a few times and still do get depressed, but not as much as when I was "trying to stop". But everybody slips up a few times...

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shard_of_light (not verified)

Have you tried:-

1 year () (Permalink)

snapping a rubber band,
drawing with red pen,
screaming into a pillow,
listening to music,
writing a poem,
taking a walk,
eating ice cream,
jumping up and down,
looking in a mirror and smiling.

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Anon_I_am_is Anon_I_am_is

Good Luck

1 year () (Permalink)

I bid you congradulations, you have gone longer than I can. You seem to be strong enough that you can beat this if you try. I wish I had your strength.

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