Breadcrumbs:
so tired
Printer-friendly versioni feel real bad since i have it pretty good compared to lots of other people but i can't stand it. i have a really big family that all have done something great and i'm one of the youngest and everyone expects me to do just as well as they did. but its so hard i can't do it i have a break down atleast once a week and cry my eyes out almost everynight so much people figure my puffy eyes are normal. my birthdays coming and i wishit wasn't and i'm glad it is at the same time. i can't wait to get out of my town i don't belong here(some rich clean busy town) i wanna go out to the country to be free away from the world just lost in my own little world. but i wanna go back in time when it was just me and my family no one from the outside world judging us telling me i gotta do this no preassure no need to be prefect.i've been trying to be perfect i have doing a bunch of extra after school stuff, sports, the highest class level i can but its so hard i'm falling to pieces but i can't stop. i'm a twin and everyone says its so great i love my sister but i hate being a twin sometime everyone says you got someone to talk to but we barely talk and shes PERFECt great grades, real prett, real smart, she better at everything. people don't even look at me next to her. i try being nice to everyone since my sister kinda got an attitude but they still like her bette rthey still wanna be with her insted i'm too nice too boring she has personality shes so much better then me and i'm trying real hard to just try and match up to her but i can't. i'm so tired of trying so tired of trying to be perfect but no one notices so tired. i don't know what to do anymore. my therapist doesn't even know what to do with me i think she wants to drop me. no body wants me. i'm just so lost, so alone and so tired i just wanna let go just stop.
Blog entry published by 6 months ago ()
Comments
Friendly words of advise.
6 months () (Permalink)It's true that some people may have it worst then others but I don't believe anyone here is going to judge you regardless of how bad or good you have it. It doesn't matter if you self-injure a lot or a little, if your family is nice or hateful, or if your family is together or apart. You came here for help, support, and friends that understand what your going through. I'm sure your not alone in feeling like your problem is nothing compared to everyone elses but its not. You are important and you deserve help, support, and friends just like everyone else. I personally can understand how hard it must be to have a successful family and everyone is watching you and pushing you to be just like them or even better then them. You can try as hard as you want to please them but you'll never be able to please everyone. I learned that lesson the hard way. Eventually as much as you love and care for everyone you have to realize it's your life and you have to live it for yourself and not let everyone else live it for you. Your family might not like it but if they love you then they'll understand you have to pick your own path in life and do what you love to do.
I'm a big music person and I believe music expresses things that words can not. When I read your blog the first song that came to mind is Linkin Park "Numb". The whole song speaks about what your talking about with your family. There is one verse of lyrics I want to point out to you as food for thought on why your family is doing this to you.
"And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me
With someone disappointed in you"
Be strong and good luck! And remember there are people on this site that are here for you. Try to have a happy birthday and don't forget to make a wish!
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