Hello there, my name is Valerie. I have been fighting through depression and anxiety for the past three years now. With-in the last year, I have started self-harm. I have lost many people to this. I did not realize that once i started, it would feel almost impossible to stop. I had recently told my parents about my, as some people call it, addiction to cutting. They are very supportive, more supportive then i thought. I have a huge support group behind me. I will be 15 this june. so Having to go through this.. from the age of 11-14 by myself has been difficult. I am very mature for my age. Some people think its because i have grown up with sibling much older then me. My siblings are now in their late twenties. They have dealt with similiar issues, and still do today. But right now, i am going to therapy for my problems. Today, i had gone to a hospital for an evaluation. I am now in a self injury program, meaning i am in a partial hospitalization thing. I get to see therapist, doctors, and interact and meet kids who are going through similiar things like me. Most people feel ashamed of themselves, i did for the longest time, and still do. Its not seomthing that can justchange over night. My scars are my biggest insecurity. I still now, break at times and go back to old habits. I know its not good, but i do. Its an addiction and that is why im in treatment. I havent been to school for the past 5 weeks. I am now excused from the rest of the school year. I am also in a school refusal and anxiety program along with the self-ingury. I have learned to accept myself for the choices i make/made and who i am now. I do regret it at times, but i would never take it back. My choices have made me who i am at this very moment. I know what its like to feel alone... to feel worthless and feel trapped. Its not easy to get back on the right track, not at all. Sometimes i feel as though, when only i, myself, knew about my problems it was ten times easier. BUt now that so many people know, that care about me, they are doing there best to get me back on the right track. I resist at times, and sometimes i just want to give up. But im slowly learning how important it is to learn good and health ways of coping rather then unhealthy and harmful ways. But cutting, is just like bitting your nails or walking on your toes... Its a habit, its become a natural thing for you.... but you must learn to stop and change them, before it gets worse. I have learned that i am not alone, and that i will never be alone. Family is always there for me, God will always be watching over me and holding me in his arms..
and MY advice to you, is to ask for help, dont be afraid.. i know its hard.. it took me months to get the courage to tell someone.. NO matter what. I LOVE YOU, whether ive met you, or will never meet you or know you. i love you with all my heart. <3