I was getting ready to go to sleep at 2 this morning. This is going to sound ridiculous, but at night any sound freaks me out. So as I was putting my pajamas on and taking off my makeup, the printer started printing papers out. It wasn’t ink papers or anything; it just started spitting out filler paper. I locked the door behind me and I cried until 4 when I finally fell asleep.
I’m going to turn fifteen in a little more than two weeks. And yet I wander the house like I’m a scared little girl.
I got back up at 7 and I made myself breakfast and had some coffee. I regretted eating the moment I stepped into the car. The anxiety was excruciating. We got into the waiting room and sat there for twenty minutes before getting called in. The session was good. I gave her the jar and we talked about a lot of positive things. I also found out that my medication management doctor will be retiring in July. We talked for a while and we talked about most of the things that have been going on. I made her cry, again. And I didn’t mean to. At the end she told me that I have so much intelligence and I shouldn’t settle for less than what I can achieve. I’m dreading finding a new therapist.
I’m going to be visiting my old teacher’s soon. That’ll be exciting. Read more »