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Quiet note

A new year is closer. This brings no hope for me, for every year is just the same. Adding more of a decline in my health each time. I have to host an exchange student for two weeks soon, so I'm stressing. It'll interfere with my SI, my only coping strategy. But after they are gone, I'm going to start saying goodbye to people. I'm getting dangerous and I'm out of control. I can honestly say I don't think I'm going to make it through 2014.

2014

2013 was one of the hardest years of my life.

I realized today that I probably cried more in this past year than I cried in the past three combined.  There were numerous triggers and moments when I wanted to give up all the years of recovery; I wanted so badly to hurt myself.

hope....

im trying so hard to hold on but i have nothing left…. idk what to do…….

 

Me.

Hi , my name is Violet i am 13 and i started to cut my self. It really makes me feel better when i am very sad or upset. I´m scared of the future and that makes me also feel impotence which also is a reason why i cut my self , actually the reason. I don´t understand why people go out of my life when i realize i really love them and i need them so i´m trying to don´t insist in anyone and i guess that will make me feel better.

Tags

One thing after another

I started to self-injure when I was 15….now I am 20. Over and over I've thought to myself: “Shouldn't I be over this?” As tough as it is to completely stop, baby steps are necessary. On top of self injury, I'm freak out over every little heath issue I have which has contributed to a lot of anxiety. Panic Attacks are normal for me. The lightheaded feeling, tunnel vision, racing heart, and the feeling that your lungs forgot how to work. I'm tired of it all, this constant worry.

New life

In 2 days i will be finding out how far along in my pregnancy i am. Honestly i'm excited but im also scared. I'm only 15 and there's so much going on in my head. I am keeping my baby but i constantly wonder what he/she will think of me… what will they say if my scars don't heal. Will they do the same when they get older? I never want that to happen, it scares me so damn bad but i know in my heart even if they do i will love them for everything i am and for all they will become. I can't wait to see and hold my baby<3 You will be so beautiful. Its been tough though, telling my family.

Hopes.

I kind of wonder if your attempt to change is over. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.

Scared for tonight. I thought I was going to die last night. It's kind of a blur, really. I had a blade against myself and held it there, wanting to push down. But I didn't. I had trouble breathing.. either my anxiety or my heart from my ED, maybe? Who cares.

All Apologizes

I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.

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Latest Blog Comments

Anonymous (not verified)

hey

I really wanted to get an apartment but those are super expensive and i dont have a car so i'm just going to move to a different dorm instead of the one i'm in

There are so many rules in school housing. I think it's the reason so many people team up with their friends to rent an apartment by second semester.

Hello. Welcome. :)

I know a lot of self-injurers in relationships with other self-injurers have a hard time sharing their feelings on SI. They're afraid to hurt the other person or they feel they could trigger them if they admit to self-harming.

There is always hope. :) I've seen so many people make it through the other side of depression and move on to have full lives.