I've had a hell of a day.

My mom told me that she's close to death.. and I started screaming that she wasn't going to die. That she can't die. My world is crumbling. It's a matter of time. It can be any time now. I cried for hours.

He checked on her. She had her name tag on.

She called in for work. A guy answered the phone. He remembered who she was. “You retired a few years ago.”

Ouch. I'm not ready to let go of her. Not ready to say goodbye. Not now. Maybe not ever.


I am 15 almost 16, I have been cutting for about a year now. At first it was to get rid of the stress my parents put on me about grades and stuff and because I was constantly bullied by someone in my school. I tried other things to de-stress myself but none of them seemed to work, so I turned to cutting. It worked well and it went from just cutting to de-stress, to cutting because I feel the need to cut. Nowadays, I tend to cut myself off from the rest of the world (no pun intended).


Ive been dealing with the loss of my grandmother. My grandfather is sick and hes dying. Im not happy and i used to cut but i stopped. ive been having flashbacks to when i was little and my moms boyfriend raped and molested me for 3 years and ive been having thoughts about cutting again. I did it last night and i just kept telling myself that if i had the courage to just push a little deeper all the pain could be gone. I need help. But i feel like no one can relate, i keep it to myself because i dont want to bother everyone..


Need some answers

I don't know what to do. My frustration is starting to get the best of me again. It all started when I lost my job a few years ago. I wasn't fired or anything, my temporary contract just ended. I thought I would be able to find a job somewhat soon, but that was not the case. I have 2 college degrees and graduated with high honors but that doesn't seem to matter in this job market. Then 11 months ago I broke my back and I am still having significant problems with it. Cant ride in vehicles, stand, or sit too long so pretty much anything physical is out of the question.


Quiet note

A new year is closer. This brings no hope for me, for every year is just the same. Adding more of a decline in my health each time. I have to host an exchange student for two weeks soon, so I'm stressing. It'll interfere with my SI, my only coping strategy. But after they are gone, I'm going to start saying goodbye to people. I'm getting dangerous and I'm out of control. I can honestly say I don't think I'm going to make it through 2014.


2013 was one of the hardest years of my life.

I realized today that I probably cried more in this past year than I cried in the past three combined.  There were numerous triggers and moments when I wanted to give up all the years of recovery; I wanted so badly to hurt myself.


im trying so hard to hold on but i have nothing left…. idk what to do…….



Hi , my name is Violet i am 13 and i started to cut my self. It really makes me feel better when i am very sad or upset. I´m scared of the future and that makes me also feel impotence which also is a reason why i cut my self , actually the reason. I don´t understand why people go out of my life when i realize i really love them and i need them so i´m trying to don´t insist in anyone and i guess that will make me feel better.

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Latest Blog Comments

There will be a price for crashing if I go.  She's been bugging me ever since I lost my job, to work with her on hers.  Not for pay, just to help her out.  The job pays $900 a month.  Her rent is a little over $500 a month.  Even if I were to pay half the rent ($250) by going with her every night, half of $900 is $450, so it's not a square deal...

Hope the next dorm is an improvement. School is stressful enough already.

Thank you for you're beautiful comment. It is indeed inspiring to know that there are others who have made it through. To this date I am still self harm free and even the desire has started to fade in some areas. As always keep your head up :)

Anonymous (not verified)


I really wanted to get an apartment but those are super expensive and i dont have a car so i'm just going to move to a different dorm instead of the one i'm in