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I should probably introduce myself..

I feel that I need to stay anonymous. No matter what kind of blog I try to keep, people that I know always seem to find it, and I want a space where I can be free to talk about my issues where nobody is going to judge me. Maybe if someone gets to know me, I'll tell them who I am, but for now I'd prefer to stay anonymous. I shall tell you everything about me, bar my name and where I live specifically.
So I am an eighteen year old female from North England. I was brought up by my Mum. I didn't know my Dad until the age of seven. He got in touch and said,' If I'm paying for it, I wanna see it.' Mum should have known then it would end badly. He kept coming to visit for a few weeks. He gave me a christmas card and a Gabrielle CD (as he'd recieved two.) He even asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told him I wanted a pink scooter, but that my Mum couldn't afford one. He came round the day before my 8th birthday and gave me this present. He told me I could unwrap it then as he wanted to see if I liked it. It was exactly what I'd asked for. I scooted round and round the cul-de-sac, in my element. He told me that he would phone me the next day to wish me a happy birthday, and that he would be round to see me the next weekend. I waved him off as he left in his shiny red car. 
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I should probably introduce myself.. in Blog entry published by 3 months ago ()

Been Away for too Long

In the past 9 weeks that I've been away from this site, my lie went down hill. The total number of cuts in that period numberx close to 100, but only have I actually cut six times. What is wrong with me. I have become that girl I never wanted to be. Sad, depressed, suicidal.

Sometimes, I lie in bed, wondering if I could have prevented this. Maybe if I had done this, or said that I coukd be normal. But now I am switching therapists, and matbe I'll like this one. My mother want older more "experienced" people to deal with me. But I want the newbies, the beginners, so that it is a learning process for the two of us.
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I haven't slept properly in weeks. I have been having recurring nightmares where I'd throw up all the names people called me, and all of the nasty things they did or said. Then they'd enter my head, and destroy me from the inside out.

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The Darkness in Light Been Away for too Long in Blog entry published by 7 months ago ()

My story

 

I am a college freshman, I am 17 years old. Read more »

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svandermeulen My story in Blog entry published by 1 year ago ()