My best friends are away for the holidays, my support is high, my cat's in the closet. And I need help. I just need help. I can't breathe, I can't eat, I've been panicking like no other. My depression (I hate to say that) is worse than it used to be; I feel myself reverting back to the hayday of my depression, where I am not able to do anything. I have to work in an hour and a half, and I can't do anything. My arm is covered in fresh cuts, and I wear short sleeves to work. I can't hide it. I'm so scared. What if I get fired over it? It's a legitimate possibility. I have to be happy and shit all the time, so I could probably get fired for having "FUCK" cut into my arm for all to see. Ugh. I don't know. I'm so sad.

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