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Creative work was posted in:

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Latest Creative Works

Walls of My Skin

These are some of the lies I tell myself when I self-harm

 

It’s just one cut, it doesn’t count

It’s just another scar to mount

On the walls upon my skin

That show the deep pain from within

 

Bruises and burns do not matter

It’s just a part of being battered

All on the walls upon my skin

Let the hell and pain begin

 

It looks like I haven’t bled enough

That doesn’t make this wound a cut

All on the walls upon my skin

Show where all my cuts have been

 

What’s the point of stopping with all these scars?

The amount is similar to that of stars

All on the walls upon my skin

I have a battle that I’m going to win

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autismtwin Walls of My Skin in Creativity - Poem published by 1 day ago ()

Daily Dinners

I sit in the chair; feet pressed firmly into the ground

Shh, I mustn’t make a sound

Everyone sits around the table

And here am I, mentally unstable

The more you restrict, the more you crave

Hunger rushes through you in waves

I stare at the food that lies on the plate

My relationship with food consists of love and hate

A single minute on my lips

Means it’s forever on my hips

Condensation runs down the glass

Don’t you dare eat, fat ass

My food stares into my face

Gosh, I wish I was in another place

She asks, “Why won’t you eat some of that?”

I reply, “Mom, I’m afraid to get fat.”

 

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autismtwin Daily Dinners in Creativity - Poem published by 1 day ago ()

Sorry I Couldn't Stay

You're all alone, it's well past midnight
And as you lay here, nothing feels right
The house is silent, and the room is still
Your razor's on the table, sharp enough to kill
It's calling out to you, begging for blood
You try to avoid it, but it's as addictive as a drug
You can try to find a distraction, but you know that will never work
In the end you find yourself bleeding, and the pain seems to lurk
Now the house is no longer silent, and your room begins to shake
Your vision starts to get blurry, as the blood quickly escapes
You begin to feel weak, and you are unable to scream
Everything is so surreal, as if you're in a dream
Your eyelids become heavy, you begin to slip away
But not before you leave a note on the table, saying "Sorry I couldn't stay."

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Sorry I Couldn't Stay in Creativity - Poem published by 2 days ago ()

A Box Of Crimson Words

She scribbled on a plain sheet of lined paper, her hand moving steadily across it in a swift blurry motion. Sweat rested above her brow and her forehead creased, with a look of pure confusion.

The glint of tears streamed down her cheeks but she didn't dare to brush them away. They were her own, and no one can take away the power to cry. She leaned against a large porcelain sink in a clean bathroom and used the floor as her desk to write. In her writing you can see the tiny lines in her words creating a pattern from the floor.

She decided it was time, time to end all possible ties she had with this cruel world; yet she was crying, sobbing even. Her parents didn't even her crying and even if they did they wouldn't run to hug her, or comfort her. They were just there, like weeds, sucking the life out of the girl without any regrets, and without the knowledge it was their wrong doing.

The girl tucked a stray strand of brown hair behind her ears, and looked up from her writing dropping the pencil on the floor. Her eyes wide, but lost of luster and life stared at the wall, her thoughts running around faster than the wind.

 

She felt like screaming, the utter feeling of disappoint meant and rejection clouding her senses.

"It’s all my fault!" She scolded herself reaching under a picture frame on the wall, an ironic view was they the picture was of a smiling cat, and words printed under, "Hang in there." Read more »

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BreakAwayFromReality A Box Of Crimson Words in Creativity - Short Story published by 2 days ago ()

stay strong

Times have gone by
Things have changed
But I've stayed the same
Things keep moving
Yet I feel as though I'm standing still
Not moving not changing
Just staying
Things keep coming back
Memory's keep breaking
The surface of my mind
Is becoming a shattered glass
Of what was once hidden
Now that glass
Cuts knitted skin
Making knew scars
From a war
That others don't see
No more then the scars
Of a war with ourselves
They cut us from the feelings we have
Cut the facts
Of what hurts us the most
The facts we won't face
With the pains of our past
Taking or minds
To a battlefield that people will never see
For a war with ourselves
Is the one hardest to win
But the one worth the fight
For the words others say is not true
There words are not who you are
They do not make the person people see
You are who you chose to be
What they see
Is the person who has a path
To walk down and have a reason
But with so much those reasons get harder to see
In the fog of the poison
They spit to make you fall
Stand tall
For times might change
The facts stay the same
Your moving forward
With a fight and scars
Worth the stories
Worth the fight to stay alive
And live your life
For they are not the one in the mirror
They are not the person you have to face
Everyday is a life
Worth the fight to make it what you want to be
Hold on and stay strong

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fighting myself stay strong in Creativity - Poem published by 3 days ago ()

Silent Suffering

Scarlett could hear his faint footsteps become more and more audible as he walked into her bedroom. He looked to see if she was asleep. What he didn’t know, though, was that she wasn’t sleeping. He was faking it, because she knew what was about to happen. She was going to get one of her “lessons.” She lay back in bed and tried not to flinch as he sat on top of her.

She felt his heavy breathing on her neck. The worst of all was about to happen. She felt him go inside of her and violate her.

She opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out.  She cleared her throat and managed to whisper, “Please, don’t.”

“’Please don’t’ what?”

“Please don’t –“ Her voice trailed off. “Stop . Please stop hurting me.”

“’Please don’t stop?’ You want it, don’t you, you slut.”

Scarlett sat up. She tried to bare her surroundings as she focused on her breathing. It was another nightmare; she got these every night. Every night, she had to relive the abuse she endured.

“No-one is here, it’s okay.” She said to herself.

She began to feel the heat radiating off of her new cuts as she ran her fingers across each cut; each story.  “Why’d you do this to me?” she asked in tears. She huddled herself up and cried herself to sleep. Read more »

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autismtwin Silent Suffering in Creativity - Short Story published by 3 days ago ()

night

I might be in a new place
But those memory's still show there face
Haunting my nights
Leaving me in fright
I stay silent
To let others slumber
With no movement
I'll lay silent
And still without a sound of a reminder
My past is a haunting hour
Only a scaring reminder
Of fear full nights
Screaming hours
Of pained filled times
What has consumed so many lives
Yet none freed of those pains
As they are always placed in graves
Yet I'm forced to confront me pains
My past tortures
As they are now my constant nightmares
Days and nights
I live with painful memory's
Nights are nightmares
Filled with fears
But no more screams
Not of those years
Not outside my memory's
Sight that is
Memory's mind is a scaring sight
With scaring nights
Living in fright
You learn what keeps
The weak awake enough to still fight
With day break a wonderful sight
For you live to fight
Another day filled with fright
It'll end one day
But its always going to be hard to say
When you'll be able to walk away
And not look back at those days
Where there was once always pain
A scar, a scream, the pain
Standing in fright
Living through the night
I'll pass another day
And will walk away
With nothing left to say
To the past pains of those days
Its time to leave the blame
Where it belongs
And go on with nothing more then the scars
They left me with

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fighting myself night in Creativity - Poem published by 4 days ago ()

PUSH

the wonted to push her 

Push her to be great

they wonted to help her 

Help her find her place 

But she pushed them 

Pushed them far away 

She didn't think she deserved 

What they offered 

she thought they where just the same 

when things got rough, they would run away 

She was amazed when they stayed

But She refused to let feelings get in the way  

So she pushed them away  

They strived from her happiness 

But only saw her blood stained pain

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amandajane20 PUSH in Creativity - Poem published by 4 days ago ()

Thirteen Knots

One knot, two knots,
Three knots, four.
I can’t take this life anymore
Five knots, six knots,
Seven knots, eight.
My death soon awaits
Nine knots, ten knots,
Eleven knots, twelve.
I’m about to kill myself
Thirteen knots. Read more »

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autismtwin Thirteen Knots in Creativity - Poem published by 4 days ago ()

fight for others

The skys are cloudy
The rain is coming
Down it falls
hitting the ground harder the before
Tears hidden behind those rain drops
Hiding behind hurt eyes
So you can't see her cry
As its all hidden
within a broken heart
that's in many pieces
No longer in one piece
As we are lost on how to repair the broken
As it all grows harder to keep hidden
Those shards start sharping
They start piercing
Through everything
Its breaking
now everyone is seeing
What you have been hiding
For far to long you have been fighting
Alone you have been standing
Now walking
Through it all only trying
To gather those broken pieces that have only been scattering
With time taking
So much of your fighting
Will start dying
Its all draining
So long you've been fighting
For something
That you shouldn't have been fighting
So hard, so young, and so long for your life
It should have been yours to live
From the start of your little life
Not for them to try and take
It all away from you when it all started
No one should
Ever end
That way
Its just to far away
To say you would be okay
To sit and live
With a life
That has only seen suffering
Making it sound like living
Was always about dreaming
Of those days when your pain finally fades away
No longer being a slave to the day
With each breath that's taken
Is a raking reminder of what's been hidden
In a mind
Only thinking of an end
To those habits
In those places
Where the screams
Are still so loud
But only in the mind
That they have scared
With fear of life
Fear to live
In a place Read more »

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fighting myself fight for others in Creativity - Poem published by 4 days ago ()