What if one day I lose my mind? What if I actually do it? Ruin My Family, My Friends, Myself? I think about it all the time. The thought haunts me. It's like there really is something living inside of me. Tearing me apart bit by bit. A monster. How did this all happen to me? It's all a big blur. All I know is that I want out. I can't handle it anymore. It's eating me alive and no one knows. There's no way out. It's like i'm trying to survive instead of live. I hide behind a smile. The monster inside me makes me. It's taking over what I am, what I was.
All I know is that one day, I'll be myself again. I hope that day comes soon. If ever.