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Me again. Marissa.
When I last wrote part of my story I was in the middle of hell.
I was about to be on house arrest for sexting. And a month later I would
be sent to a juvenile detention center as a risk to myself.
I am now fifteen. Smoke-free and cut/burn-free.

During the month or so on house arrest I cut everyday. More than once too.
My whole arm was covered from wrist to elbo. I had marks on my ankels,
and my other arm as well. (i cut lefthanded when I'm a righty)
When I didn't feel like doing that I called a 'friend' and he would come
over sneak through my window, we'd fuck, talk then he'd leave. And then I would end up cutting anyway. It was my low.

I gave his friend my last razor blade two days before I got sent to juvie.
I had told my mom about him coming over and she called the officer and there was a court hearing. My mom showed the judge my arm and declared me a risk to myself and sent me to the juvenile center.
Strangely. it was that place that saved me. Six days reading the rules there and that paper telling me to take pride in myself.
See, I had wanted to stop long before that point but never knew how.
I had a clean break going there...

This isn't any  big deal compared to some stories.
But it is to me, because If my mom hadn't made that call. I'd either be dead, or just gone.
Instead i no longer cut or burn.
And I have hope. =)
But sometimes things do get hard, and I DO want to start again, when I just dunno what to do. But there is a better way.