You're all alone, it's well past midnight
And as you lay here, nothing feels right
The house is silent, and the room is still
Your razor's on the table, sharp enough to kill
It's calling out to you, begging for blood
You try to avoid it, but it's as addictive as a drug
You can try to find a distraction, but you know that will never work
In the end you find yourself bleeding, and the pain seems to lurk
Now the house is no longer silent, and your room begins to shake
Your vision starts to get blurry, as the blood quickly escapes
You begin to feel weak, and you are unable to scream
Everything is so surreal, as if you're in a dream
Your eyelids become heavy, you begin to slip away
But not before you leave a note on the table, saying "Sorry I couldn't stay."
Breadcrumbs:
Poetry about self-injury and written by self-injurers on related topics.
Poetry
Sorry I Couldn't Stay
stay strong
Times have gone by
Things have changed
But I've stayed the same
Things keep moving
Yet I feel as though I'm standing still
Not moving not changing
Just staying
Things keep coming back
Memory's keep breaking
The surface of my mind
Is becoming a shattered glass
Of what was once hidden
Now that glass
Cuts knitted skin
Making knew scars
From a war
That others don't see
No more then the scars
Of a war with ourselves
They cut us from the feelings we have
Cut the facts
Of what hurts us the most
The facts we won't face
With the pains of our past
Taking or minds
To a battlefield that people will never see
For a war with ourselves
Is the one hardest to win
But the one worth the fight
For the words others say is not true
There words are not who you are
They do not make the person people see
You are who you chose to be
What they see
Is the person who has a path
To walk down and have a reason
But with so much those reasons get harder to see
In the fog of the poison
They spit to make you fall
Stand tall
For times might change
The facts stay the same
Your moving forward
With a fight and scars
Worth the stories
Worth the fight to stay alive
And live your life
For they are not the one in the mirror
They are not the person you have to face
Everyday is a life
Worth the fight to make it what you want to be
Hold on and stay strong
stay strong in Creativity - Poem published by fighting myself 1 day ago ()
night
I might be in a new place
But those memory's still show there face
Haunting my nights
Leaving me in fright
I stay silent
To let others slumber
With no movement
I'll lay silent
And still without a sound of a reminder
My past is a haunting hour
Only a scaring reminder
Of fear full nights
Screaming hours
Of pained filled times
What has consumed so many lives
Yet none freed of those pains
As they are always placed in graves
Yet I'm forced to confront me pains
My past tortures
As they are now my constant nightmares
Days and nights
I live with painful memory's
Nights are nightmares
Filled with fears
But no more screams
Not of those years
Not outside my memory's
Sight that is
Memory's mind is a scaring sight
With scaring nights
Living in fright
You learn what keeps
The weak awake enough to still fight
With day break a wonderful sight
For you live to fight
Another day filled with fright
It'll end one day
But its always going to be hard to say
When you'll be able to walk away
And not look back at those days
Where there was once always pain
A scar, a scream, the pain
Standing in fright
Living through the night
I'll pass another day
And will walk away
With nothing left to say
To the past pains of those days
Its time to leave the blame
Where it belongs
And go on with nothing more then the scars
They left me with
night in Creativity - Poem published by fighting myself 2 days ago ()
PUSH
the wonted to push her
Push her to be great
they wonted to help her
Help her find her place
But she pushed them
Pushed them far away
She didn't think she deserved
What they offered
she thought they where just the same
when things got rough, they would run away
She was amazed when they stayed
But She refused to let feelings get in the way
So she pushed them away
They strived from her happiness
But only saw her blood stained pain
PUSH in Creativity - Poem published by amandajane20 2 days ago ()
Thirteen Knots
One knot, two knots,
Three knots, four.
I can’t take this life anymore
Five knots, six knots,
Seven knots, eight.
My death soon awaits
Nine knots, ten knots,
Eleven knots, twelve.
I’m about to kill myself
Thirteen knots.
I’ll just be forgotten
I climbed up on the chair,
Wondering how long my body would be there
I took one last look around my room,
And jumped from the chair into impending doom.
One second, two seconds,
Three seconds, four
I forgot to lock my door
Five seconds, six seconds
Seven seconds, eight.
He’s home from work early; he was supposed to be late.
Nine seconds, ten seconds,
Eleven seconds, twelve.
He runs through the door and cuts me down from the shelf.
Thirteen.
He puts his arms around me.
He sat with me, his arms a tight grip
I’m so glad he didn’t let me slip
If you’re reading this, know that I care.
If you need help, I’ll always be there.
Thirteen Knots in Creativity - Poem published by autismtwin 2 days ago ()
fight for others
The skys are cloudy
The rain is coming
Down it falls
hitting the ground harder the before
Tears hidden behind those rain drops
Hiding behind hurt eyes
So you can't see her cry
As its all hidden
within a broken heart
that's in many pieces
No longer in one piece
As we are lost on how to repair the broken
As it all grows harder to keep hidden
Those shards start sharping
They start piercing
Through everything
Its breaking
now everyone is seeing
What you have been hiding
For far to long you have been fighting
Alone you have been standing
Now walking
Through it all only trying
To gather those broken pieces that have only been scattering
With time taking
So much of your fighting
Will start dying
Its all draining
So long you've been fighting
For something
That you shouldn't have been fighting
So hard, so young, and so long for your life
It should have been yours to live
From the start of your little life
Not for them to try and take
It all away from you when it all started
No one should
Ever end
That way
Its just to far away
To say you would be okay
To sit and live
With a life
That has only seen suffering
Making it sound like living
Was always about dreaming
Of those days when your pain finally fades away
No longer being a slave to the day
With each breath that's taken
Is a raking reminder of what's been hidden
In a mind
Only thinking of an end
To those habits
In those places
Where the screams
Are still so loud
But only in the mind
That they have scared
With fear of life
Fear to live
In a place
That has so much pain
With screams hidden
In a place once forced to call a home
Now its left standing alone
Still stained in the blood
That had once almost been my end
Each time each day
Was a fight that always seemed to be a way
To try and stay alive for another day
Just another fight for your life
Never seeming to change
Finally has
Now I don't know how to really
Be okay
I finally feel good and at piece
But really I don't know how to be
Without the fight for my life
I've been cut out of society
For almost everyday
I lived in silence
I stood alone
With a fight for a life
That never knew how to give up
With no hope I had stood and fought
For many I had lost
But another day I was able to stand and fight
Again I'll live
With a life
Now given the chance
To live
My head held high
I know I'll be able to pull through
Because my fight
And as well as that light
With the fire
Of life
Burning bright still
I have a life to live
And I'll fight for it to be still
To stand once more
And with that strength
I know the words I'll speak
That path I'll take
For once I'll be me
And not the person I could never be
For I am not the one who stands to hurt others
But helps them through what I can
I'll be strong for others
I don't ever want to see
Someone go through the same pain
That all of that had brought me.
fight for others in Creativity - Poem published by fighting myself 3 days ago ()
Follow Me
Take my hand and follow me
Follow me to a place that no one ever sees.
Follow me through the rain,
Try to ease my pain
Follow me through the winter’s snow
And share the secrets all in a row
Follow me through the chilling wind,
“Watch where you’re going, not where you’ve been.”
Follow me through the warm sunlight
Fight for me, you’re my knight.
You followed me, your hand in mine;
You helped clear out the thoughts from my mind.
You were with me through the rain
You greatly helped ease my pain.
During nature’s time to snow,
I made it your time to know.
You taught me to not live in the past;
To forget about what happened last
You fought for me in the warm sunlight,
Because you’re my knight.
When I needed you,
You always followed through.
Follow Me in Creativity - Poem published by autismtwin 3 days ago ()
Free me
feet on the ledge
Hands up in the air
a breeze apoun my face
the suns warm embrace
Im standing tall
Im standing alone
It would only take a step
It would only take a leap
Im holding in my fears
Im not letting out this tears
the blades no longer satisfying
the pounds dropped are
never anofe
I can't ever love myself
and Now I can't trust myself
I have tooken my last step
I have tooken a leap
I have to leave this cold world behind
I dont feel like im falling
I feel like I can Fly
I finally feel free
I finally found relief
in the moment that I died
Free me in Creativity - Poem published by amandajane20 3 days ago ()
once in fear
So long I've lived in fear
Always standing near
Taken over
By what I never
Wanted to be
Yet its here with me
Living in my mind I hear
The voices of a past that I seem to fear
yet with each day
I grow more and stay the same
But some how in a different way I'm not the same
I've grown after I had died
Now I stans
Walk away from that pain
run away from that place that made my pain
I walk with my head high
And say goodbye
to the past I choose to leave behind
They killed
The kid I could have been
And made a soldier
Out of a fighter
No longer fighting to survive
But fighting to recover from what has been survive
The fights worth it
The risks that will come with it
Are just as great
But never the less something that has be felt
Has to be walked through it
But alone we are not
for a world of care
stand high and strong by the people
Who wish to see you blossom into the person you truly are
Time will pass
The journey might be draining
but your growing
Is worth the path to recovery
on a road you walk away
from the past that holds so much pain
you will win
In the end because you will beet them in the end of it all.
once in fear in Creativity - Poem published by fighting myself 4 days ago ()
standing with the fight
I was once alone
In a fight
So great
It took so much
To walk away from death
Alone I stood
Broken and dead
I walk to recovery
Picking up pieces that have fallen away
Now I stand
Weak and dead
On the inside I've already lost
But on the outside I still fight
For what I no longer know
I walked alone
For so long I thought I was meant to die
So young never
to be older
But I'm still standing
Fighting
Those fears and urges
No longer alone now
Standing with others
With people who care
if I live or die
Who would have ever known someone
Like me would ever be here
Have a chance
To live
Without fear of blood family
to try and take my life away
I'll fight myself each day
Because I hate the way
I feel from the pain they caused
They killed the child I was
But they can't kill the person I've become
because who I once was
Has died and been strengthened
By the hatred
They killed a kid
but made a human into so much
more then what one would think could ever be
Now I stand for another day to come
In price I'll live
with the memory's carried along the way
But soon the pain they cause will fade away
These are not my last words
For that fight
Is a fire that will always burn bright.
standing with the fight in Creativity - Poem published by fighting myself 4 days ago ()
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