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I'd hoped you hadn't noticed

that I am slowly dying

My mind is a hurricane

and I don't know what to do.

I didn't mean to worry you

I thought that I could make you happy

Until I heard you up last night

and listened to you cry.

The guilt I felt only added

to the pain I had inside

I didn't think to turn to you

so I found my own way out.

My pain was overwhelming

and I needed a release

I didn't want to tell you -

didn't want you to see.

I'd hoped you hadn't noticed

the scars on my arms and legs

I don't want to keep hiding from you

each and every day.

I didn't know how to control myself

and try to tell the truth

I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you

so I smiled through my hurt.

When I saw the people

laughing and smiling around me

My eyes glowed green -

I wanted to be them.

I tried so hard to conform to their standards -

make myself as light as a feather

Tried to never make a shadow

or a footprint in the snow.

My life soon turned into a lie,

something that can never be erased

I destroyed myself

and it was all for you.

I'd hoped you hadn't noticed

my tear-streaked face

my sunken eyes.

I did this all for you

but you hated me when you found out

You said I was worthless

so I tried to make you happy

You said I was ugly

so I tried to make myself beautiful

You said that I was a disappointment

and I lost all control.

I hated myself for you

I couldn't look at myself for you

I'm slowly dying for you.

How could you?

How could you?

How could you?!