Breadcrumbs:
various poems about SI
Because I must dig my crimson graveyard
Bloodlust
I miss you
My blade, my love
Blood
I miss the bitterly tangy iron taste
The intoxicating scent
The feel of the x-acto blade in my hands
The quick, sharp slash
Blood
Blood
Blood
Welling up, spilling over
I shudder to remember…
But I want it
Shuddering and trembling with longing
The soothing cut
My bloodlust is strong
I want it
I need it
I must have it
I must not
I can’t
I won’t
But god… blood
Gushing, dripping, staining
The feeling
Soothing, calming
I’m all right
I’m alive
Everything is okay
But it’s not, because I haven’t cut
I must!
No!
I will!
No, I won’t! I can’t!
It’s maddening
Bloodlust
I want that cut
I practically smell the knife
Just across the room
But instead I write of it
Blood
Oh, god
Blood
I swore, never ever again
I will hold true
I will
I will
I reject the blade
I reject the blood
I reject it all
…but I still want it
Emo
Dammit, I swear I will beat the goddamn shit
Out of whoever calls me emo next, legit
I’m not “emo” stop with your categorization
Not a goddamned eyeliner-clone manifestation
My hair is brown, and off my face, not flipped
I don’t try to constantly sound like a crypt
Check the hand, no fucking black polish
Happiness and hope- I’m not trying to abolish
I’m don’t run around looking depressive in drag
I’m no poser and I’m no fucking fag
Won’t deny it, my soul is haunted by suicide
But it’s been months since I’ve cried
Just because you don’t know why I hurt
Doesn’t mean I’m just being a jerk
I write poetry, yes, but dear god, so what?
And okay, I can’t say I’ve never cut
That gives you absolutely no reason to judge
I’m not just carrying some motherfucking grudge
I’m not making up my goddamned depression
Not just trying to leave a fucking impression
I’m not imitating goths or anyone else
I’m in actual pain, trying to survive hell
This isn’t glamorous or dramatic, it’s pain
I’m no whiner, not trying to complain
Stop judging me, you don’t fucking know
But I assure you, I am NOT an emo
Scarred
To the ones with scarred arms
To the ones with scarred wrists
To the ones shivering, staring at the glass
To the ones who can’t resist anymore
To the scarred ones
It’s all right
You’re alive
You’ve made it this far
You’re gonna be okay
I promise, you’re all right
To the ones with a secret
To the ones who never go swimming
To the ones with souls so scarred
All they can do is express it with a knife
To the terrified ones because they can’t stop
To the ashamed ones
Scarred
Everything is going to be okay
You’re all right
I’ve been there too
You aren’t alone
To the ones who feel weak
I understand
To the ones who need to feel safe
I know
To the ones who thirst for blood
Their own blood
To the ones who hate themselves for it
But still can’t break free
I hear your silent cries in the night
I’m crying too
It’s okay, you’re not alone
I’m scarred too
I hear you
You’re crying for someone to listen
I can’t change anything but I’m here
I understand your screams
Your scars don’t repulse me
It’s all right, you can cry
You’re safe
Put down the knife
You don’t need it tonight
I know, you think you do
But it’s okay
Tonight you’re safe
Tonight someone hears your cries
I hear you
I understand
And I promise you
On my life or something worth more
I promise you have the strength
You’re going to be all right
Trust me
Everything is gonna be okay
You’re safe here
The scarred ones gather
We are not alone anymore
We support each other
We are scarred
We understand
Reach out to the others
The ones scarred like us
Hear their cries
Everyone needs an ally
Especially the scarred

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