I held my breath staring at the sea-green skyline. I felt this odd sensation roll up from my toes to my fingertips, quite like a small, thin breeze. The darkness overlapped the sunset like a painting and I crossed my arms with impatience.

"When will he get here?" I mumbled to myself spreading my fingers in the strange ways I could, it was always a habit of mine. The doubt that he was even coming placed a thin blanket of distrust in my mind, I shivered and pulled my cotton sweater closer to myself.

The sky was wicked, crimson reds clashing with dark purples and blues; it reminded me of a carnival, so colorful.

"No!" I shrieked covering my eyes with my hands, I didn't want another one. Not another flashback!

The distant sounds of ringing bells toke over my ears, flashing lights as spinning carnival rides made me feel woozy. I was standing in a crowd, clasterphobia envaded my comfort zone, people kept touching me. I knew it was an accident but the arms touching arms, skin feeling skin, it made me want to vomit.

My new boyfriend Zack, he stood next to me laughing with one of his friends, a boy with long black hair that covered the eyes.

"Come on, Jane!"

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Scarlett could hear his faint footsteps become more and more audible as he walked into her bedroom. He looked to see if she was asleep. What he didn’t know, though, was that she wasn’t sleeping. He was faking it, because she knew what was about to happen. She was going to get one of her “lessons.” She lay back in bed and tried not to flinch as he sat on top of her.

She felt his heavy breathing on her neck. The worst of all was about to happen. She felt him go inside of her and violate her.

She opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out.  She cleared her throat and managed to whisper, “Please, don’t.”

“’Please don’t’ what?”

“Please don’t –“ Her voice trailed off. “Stop . Please stop hurting me.”

“’Please don’t stop?’ You want it, don’t you, you slut.”

Scarlett sat up. She tried to bare her surroundings as she focused on her breathing. It was another nightmare; she got these every night. Every night, she had to relive the abuse she endured.

“No-one is here, it’s okay.” She said to herself.

She began to feel the heat radiating off of her new cuts as she ran her fingers across each cut; each story.  “Why’d you do this to me?” she asked in tears. She huddled herself up and cried herself to sleep. Read more »

My body jolted as the vehicle came to a sharp stop. I tried to get my eyes to focus into the green clock: 2am. We’d been walking around DC up until midnight after my father’s company’s Christmas dinner. All I remembered was picking around at my food and hoping that I didn’t gain weight from eating a skimpy little salad. We walked around to all the monuments in under 30-degree weather. I was in a little strapless dress and ballet flats; fashionable and good enough to cover my cuts.

I walked up to the steps in silence while trying to steady myself. The lights were on; my mom had been waiting up for us. I was half paying attention and half asleep as I took off my shoes. My cats came to greet me, but Sophie took one look at me gave me a loud, shrill cry as she stood next to me. I looked down at her to see what she was crying about. My feet were covered in blood.

I must have been too cold when we were walking around to feel my blisters forming all over my feet from my flats. But Sophie noticed, and she didn’t like the fact that I was covered in blood. That was the first time she came to my rescue, and it most certainly wasn’t the last. Read more »

I remeber you once told me stand and fight and i remeber that everytime I stood you knocked me down again but you always told me no matter how many times your knocked down you always come back stronger then before and each word he said was true but not the ones where he said I would never stand alone in a fight but since he died in an accadent and my fighting partner had gotten shot in the head from a gang that attacked/jumped us since then I've been standing alone at least against people I'm legally able to fight though I've been fighting for so long not just people but myself and emtions that want to end it all but insted I fight it all but once again I fight with no thoughts just reaction to the events that are going on moving not using anything more then my sense and hands moving swift and fast like a dancer with others trying to hurt me but never able to lay a finger on me everything I've ever learnd I owe them I know I'm standing alone in my fights now and days but my fight is stronger then what I ever thought possible and their teachings flow through my head as each word they spoke to me as I say to my younger siblings as I teach them some things to help them deffend themselves if ever confrunted if it wasn't for them coming into my life though it hurt like hell when they were sudenly wripped out of my life but there teachings have helped me live for this long I hope what I will teach them and help them keep safe when I can't always be there for them to keep them safe though they might hate me for leaving I know I won't always be there for them and the fact that at Read more »