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this may not make much sense to some of you so let me clarify before you read on....this is about my fear of being discovered and having to go to a recovery center for my SI. ENJOY!
   ......And then the door is opened before me. A waft of warm air rushes 
out to greet me as I slowly, cautiously, step in to face the terror. I am slightly calmed for the moment as the air blows my hair around and lands tenderly;caressing my face as if to calm me. For this moment all I feel is the breeze and the strange sensation of a million thorns poking my body. I am numb. I register nothing within these concrete walls. But then, as my mind slowly thaws and the door steals the wind away, I begin to see everything that I had imagined is now true. 

   Every aspect of the scene is as frightening as the thoughts, now clawing their way out of their coffins, were, before I buried them. I realize I'm not breathing. I inhale.A scent of unnerving cleanliness bleeds in through my nose. The air tastes thick; like early morning dew on the grass; like breathable water. Strange. It tastes thcik and sterile, uncontaminated. Haunting.I look around to see the pearly white walls. They seem to have bars that are locking me in , and spikes, to crush me into a twisted conformity!.......I blink, and the walls return to their shiny finish of diamonds. The diamonds blind me.
 
   I feel a hand gently press against the small of my back, urging me onward. Breath by ragged breath I force my feet to move. Each step feels like I have a concrete block tied to each foot. Heavy...Loud...is how each step feels. Thick...Suppressed...is how the air hangs around me. All I hear is the faint humming of nothingness. It seems to be dead silent, though I know it is not.I see a variety of people creep through the halls as I make my way to my..excuse me..THEIR destination for me. Plump, skinny, somber, and scared people I all pass by.Finally, I turn. The concrete blocks fall off, and suddenly I am made of jelly. My legs begin to wobble as they turn to mush. My heart sinks down my throat and my already intwined stomach flips over. For there, in the small doorway my weary eyes have rested upon, invisibly lays my greatest fear...................