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Emily carefully opened the new pack of blades she had just gotten from the store. She felt excited and ashamed all at once. She new this was her only way out, but it was a way deeper into this disease. She needed an exscape.
She selected a blade from the pack of twenty and tested it on her finger.
"Perfect," she whispered with a smile.
Emily then turned on her shower, slide out of her clothes and stepped into the scolding hot water with her new blade. Most girls would start washing their hair and bodies first, but Emily goes to her arms and legs. She lowers herself into the tub with her knee's to her chest. Emily closes her eyes and thinks about what she is about to do.
If i do this...it will be the last time, she says in her mind.
Another part of her mind was saying, you can never quit. If you do, you'll be lost! Just face it, you need this slice if heaven.
What else could Emily do? She felt stuck. All the pressure to be perfect was becoming too much. Being an only child, Emily was alyways the center of attention. She hated it. Her mother made sure she studied every night for at least two hours, made sure she looked flawless in the morning, she even controlled Emily's eating habits. It was just too much for her.
She brought the blade to her wrist and everything faded. Nothing mattered anymore to her. Emily watched as the clear water turned to crimson and spiraled down the drain. She felt relieved, but not better. Her body need more. So she again lowered her blade.
"Emily?" said her mom, bursting into her bathroom. "Come on and finish up, you need to study."
"Fine," Emily replied.
After her mom left, Emily cut three more times. She was finally at her peak. She sat in the tub for about five minutes, taking in the high that would soon need to be replenished tomorrow morning. With a sigh of saddness, she got up and finished her shower, only to go back out into the world with a fake smile and empty heart.