how do i deal with this?

I have a step mom, her name is Cindy. I love her like she is my real mom, thats how I think of her. I can tell her anything, including my biggest secret....that I cut myself. She always seemed so perfect to me, well she got divorced a couple years ago but he left her. She lives with her mom, they seem like the perfect mother and daughter her father isn't in the picture anymore but it doesn't seem to affect her that much.She is always smiling and laughing and she tries to make the best of every situation.

But, the other day we were talking and all of a sudden she told me her mother was an alcoholic.The way she blurted it out seemed like she hadn't planned on telling me.I was shocked, I have met her mom before, she is very sweet. Then she kept talking like something had taken over her body. She told me her step dad used to physically and verbally abuse her. I was speechless. All I said was "wow" .I was going crazy in my head, "she just told you something this crazy and all you say is wow?What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I desperately tried to think of something to say but i couldn't. I changed the subject, I had to I couldn't think about what she had said I felt like I was going to throw up.

I thought about what she said for days, I had trouble sleeping, all I could think of was what to say to her to make it better. But, I couldn't think of anything.I came to the conclusion that it was because there was nothing i could say to make it better. Even if I had said something like "I want to kill that jerk" it wouldn't help. Even if I could kill him it wouldn't change the pain she went through, the agony she suffered. It absolutely breaks my heart.I hate not being able to fix what happened. I feel like I failed her, like I let her down.

Then when I think about it for a while I get really angry. How the fuck could he do that to her? How the hell could her mother allow that? What in fuck is wrong with these people? She doesn't deserve any of the shit she has been through! Not even a little! And what's wrong with me? Why couldn't I think of anything to say to her? Even if it didn't help at least I would have said something to make her feel better at the moment. I couldn't even spit out a "I am so sorry".

Now I missed that opportunity, because I am never going to bring that subject up ever again. Going through that situation once was enough for me. Is that selfish? I don't think it is....I don't think she wants me to bring it up again either. So I will let it fade away lost and forgotten like so many other painful memories ....