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"Leah?" i asked as i knocked on her door. "come on, leah! i know you're in there!" i was her best guy friend.i was in love with her, but she didn't know that. it tortured me daily. "thats it leah, i'm comming in!!" i shook the door handle until it came open. i found her in the corner. again. with her razor. again.

"leah." i sighed. "this has to stop. you're gonna kill your self one day and i'll have no one to blame but myself." i surpressed a shiver. i cringed away from even the thought of loosing her.

"i won't kill myself." she stated in her musical voice "thats not what i'm trying to acomplish with this" she waved her hand twords her bleeding wrist.

"ugh! leah!" i stared into her mezmerizing golden brown eyes that had the tinest flecks of green in them. "okay. lets go get you cleaned up." i stated blankly. this was routine at least once a week. i smoothed her silky strawberry blonde hair.

"not now, taylor and leah are having a moment!" i heard leah's sister, lacy whisper from the hall

"whatever, i need leah... but i guess it can wait..." her other sister, layla replied.

"do you think he's going to tell her?" whisper annah, leah's best girlfriend, to the other girls.

"i doubt it" said layla "he's such a pussy!"

i gave them the finger behind my back where leah couldn't see. then i scooped her up off the floor and carried her into the kitchen. i'd been friends with annah, leah, and her sisters since i was one, but they still got on my nerves. i still remember when me and leah were 13. the day she told us.

*flashback*

"whats so important, dammit!" annah ran into the room. late, as usual.

"i need to tell you all somthing." leah said quietly. god she was beautiful.

"what, leah." i said, throwing my arm around her shoulder.

"i cut myself." she stated point blank. i felt a strange ripple of pain through out my chet. ow. then i noticed we were all staring at leah, mouths wide.

"you what?!?! what the hell?!?!?!?!? you idiot! you're gonna kill yourself!!!" annah broke the silence. of course it would be annah.

"we gotta tell mom." lacy and layla said at the same time. it was weired how they did that, talk at the same time. lacy was 16 and layla was 12, so they weren't twins. they were just always in sync.

"NO!!!" leah screamed. i crushed her to my shoulder. she could beat the crap out of annah, lacy, and layla and come off without a scrach. not that i'd let her fight alone.

"then what the fuck do you want us to do? send you to the psych ward?" layla said.

"no, i wanted to just tell taylor. but then you all would probably find out somehow since you conveniently need somthing right outside my door when me and taylor ore trying to be alone." i feld a tear roll down my cheek. leah's usually tough shell was off and she was crying really hard. i was the only thing holding her up. until now, i was the only person who'd ever seen her cry outside the age of 3.

'i'm sorry, taylor" she turned and buried her face in my polo.

"fine, we won't tell mom or anybody else. but please come to us if you ever want to stop or you feel like you need help." lacy said quietly. i liked lacey. she was always a sweet girl.

leah then turned "okay, i promise. now get out and take a hike. i want to talk to taylor." they obeyed

"leah, why?" i asked

"lets not get into why or how right now. i just need to say one thing."

"okay, what."

"please don't ever, ever, ever leave me."

*end flashback*

i never did. i never left. i've wanted to a couple times, but i didn't. i love her.

next day

"leah, i love you" i said.

"oh, um... wow... i can't believe it took you so long to say it!" i love you,too!" she kissed my cheek. i quickly turned my head so that our lips met. she didn't pull away. instead, she kissed me back. i'd been waiting for this day since i was 8 years old. sparks flew.

"leah, please. i need you to do one thing."

"anything" she said breathlessly

"stop cutting"

"anything but that. no i won't do it. i won't!"

"why?"

"because it's my addiction. i like it. you're not going to take that away."

"fine, you know what, do it. do it now. infront of me."

"okay." she wimpered.

she made one little cut and i fled.

"excuse me" i said walking out of the room. i heard her sobs get louder.

she walked out of her room 20 minutes later, her face pale and blank.

"taylor" she whispered

"whats wrong, honey"

"i hit a vein"

END

i am rachel, leah is kind of my alter ego. the events in theis story are true, but people's names have beed changed to protect their privacy.