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There's no way... I can't believe it... She can't be gone. She can't have just vanished, leaving blood, paperwork, and...a body.

Turn her over
A candle is lit, I see through her
Blow it out, and
Save all her ashes for me

This Is my fault. If I hadn't kept telling her she was dangerous. That what she did was wrong. That what she did scared me. That she scared me.

Curse me, sold her
The poison that runs its course through her

I looked at the body. Her body. The two deep cuts that had killed her were still leaking blood, but all over her body there were other gashes. On her arms, her legs, her face, her stomach. They were vivid red against her sun starved skin.

Pale white skin with strawberry gashes
All over, All over

*Flashback*

"You've got to stop, you know." I was watching her play with the screw she'd pulled from the brass beds we slept in. She ran in down her arms, scratching them gently. She looked at me with those huge brown eyes I'd grown to love so. "You're living like a disaster." She half smiled, and said in her odd, lilting voice "Then kill me faster." She held out her arms. I could see cuts and scars mixed there.

Watch me fault her
"You're living like a disaster."
She said "Kill me faster."
With strawberry gashes all over

The next day, she was escorted back to me from an individual session with her councilor. She had that odd look on her face, that odd smile, as though she knew things we all didn't. I asked if she was doing any better. She nodded, and whispered, "Feel fine, Lexi..." They say mental homes are awful, but they really help. They are wonderful.

Called her over
And asked her if she was improving
She said "Feels fine"
Its wonderful wonderful here.

I woke that night, having dreamed of a demon. He spoke of her. Of my Miriam. He knew of what she did. This cutting. He said he was the cause. He said she would never stop. I woke screaming. When Miriam looked at me, having woken up herself, I told her. She nodded in the dark, and she got up and joined me in my bed.

Hex me, told her
I dreamt of a devil who knew her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over

All over...

I waited for her to say something. The things she often said were a mixture of the bizarre, and the profound. She murmured quietly. "Some things... you lose, and some things you just give away..."

I lay quiet
And waited for her voice to say
Some things you lose
And some things you just give away...

"I'm going to die, Lexi." I wrapped my arms around her, and she snuggled into me. Her hair smelled so wonderful, and she was so thin...I could feel her bones though her night gown. "No, Miri. Not for a long time." "No, soon!" Her voice was light as she spoke, as though death was nothing. I held her tightly, wish I could take away her pain.

Scold me, failed her
If only I'd held on tighter to her
Pale white skin that twisted and withered
Away from me, away from me

*End Flashback*

I watched. I watched her slip the razor into her wrists. I couldn't stop her. She was to far gone to her what I had to say. To far to let me save her. To far to let me love her.

Watch me, lose her
It's almost like losing myself.

I knew then I'd lost her for good. And in the process, I'd lost a bit of myself. They came to take her body. They couldn't. What if she was just sleeping? I could see the blood, but couldn't think that she was...dead. I wouldn't move from my place holding her. They could have another body. I glared up at all the doctors. They couldn't have Miriam.

Give her my soul
And let them take somebody else
GET AWAY FROM ME!

"Get away from me!!!" I screamed, clutching her body tightly. The doctor moved back as I held her lifeless body and wept. Her blood ran over me in a wave of strawberry wine, but I didn't care. All I wanted was for her to wake up, and say she forgave me for not saving her. To say that she missed me. To say that she loved me.

Watch me fault her
"You're lving like a disaster"
She said "Kill me Faster"
With Strawberry Gashes all over

Strawberry Gashes all over all over

The End

Story Copyright Miriam Cicada
Song Copyright Jack off Jill