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My name is Anni. No I don't have red hair, I'm not an orphan and I don't have a big yellow dog called Sandy. My hair is dark brown, I have a mom and dad and I have two cats: one gray, one black. I love to read and writing is my life, so is singign and music just in general.

Five years ago, Barbies and dollhousees would have been the things I enjoyed. It was all I needed to make me happy. Now, it takes alot more. It takes love not toys and gifts and money to make me smile and be happy now.

You want to know the truth? I cut. I'm a cutter. I have a small silver box in my room filled with six of those shiny, metal things called razors. I have another box that contains a tac, a safety pin, two pocket knives and a sowing needle. It's surprising how many thigns are sharp and dangerous in just one house.

Also, I'm fat. I weigh 113 pounds, roughly and my stomach spills over my pants and rolls down in flabs of fat. I need to lose about 23 pounds before I'm happy with myself, but I've made a compromise with my boyfriend and only 13 pounds is going to go away.

Of course, my closest friends (Cassi, Katie and Caroline) know and so does my boyfriend (Ian). If you were to ask me how that makes them feel I would have to shrug, shake my head and tell you, "I don't know."

I tried to tell my parents once, but all that earned me was my mother yelling at me and slapping me across the face and my father telling me I have no reason to do thigns like this. I have money, remember?

Twenty years from now, I hope this is all over. I hope I have two children and am married to the man of my dreams, Ian Ackerman.

For now, I'm stuck here, but I have hope, something that I am often without. I hope that those of you that are reading this now also have hope. In the end everything will be find.

That is a promise only you can keep.