self-injury.net - Comments for "Famous Self-Injurers"

totally understand talk

I'm simmilar to you Im 22 and have harmed for 9 years only last week i spent the day in hospital where i realised i wasnt mental but i had lost my way I was cutting and trying 2 kill myself. It was too much and my messed up head tore my relationship with my boyfriend appart which was then the final straw.
Ive opend up to more people than ever this week but now im back at university and scared that despite how determined I am i might fail. the next time something bad happens will i cut again. Its easy when u feel ok but what happens when you are down again. However i realise its not just hurting myself but others around me.
Id like some ideas on what to do when i want to cut so hopefully one day the urge isnt there anymore.
lizzy 113 at hotmail.co.uk

Dear Lemon

I came across this website looking for Fiona Apple lyrics and read your post. There are some definite red flags here! First, PLEASE do not feel compelled to find an "excuse" for your emotions. Sometimes there is no single "trigger" for self-destructive behavior, but rather a complex interaction between many different factors. I like to believe in free will. But I also think our feelings are affected by processes in the brain that are often beyond our control. Negative feelings can become habits! I was 19 when I developed severe depression, and my friends thought I was emo, or overreacting. From the outside I appeared to be "normal": supportive family, college sophomore on athletic scholarship, etc. But something inside my head kept telling me I was worthless, terrible, no good. I felt guilty for indulging these thoughts because I too had "no excuse." But after spending a week in a towel in my dorm room (I couldn't stand to be around people, in class or social settings), I realized I needed to speak to somebody outside my circle of family/friends--somebody who could be objective. And my counselor reassured me that depression wasn't my fault, and I had been smart to seek help.

I'm sorry this turned out to be a long post about...me. But please, DO NOT feel guilty. It's really important that you're recognizing self-destructive tendencies in yourself now, rather than having a big crisis down the road (when you're perhaps in college, or living on your own). You can manage this, but it will be difficult. It's a learning curve. You might have to speak with a counselor (school counselors are sworn to confidentiality!), or create a "game plan" for yourself to end what a habit you've rightly called an addiction. Also, rent the movie "Secretary" with Maggie Gyllenhaal--it treats the issue of self-harm with lots of humor and compassion. Just remember that you yourself are worthy of good health and happiness, even when voices of doubt crowd your head.

-ML

And it isn't short for

And it isn't short for "emotional" - it's emotive. I'm not emo myself, but it pisses me off that the subculture has become one big bastardized stereotype.

Emo?

i know what you mean about no body caring or nobody considering helping you. it just means that they dont know how to deal with it or they dont think its a big deal. i have to let you know as a self-injurer for 7 years, its something you need to stop as early as you can. it only gets harder the longer you do it. dont stop for other people, stop because YOU want to. i suggest going to see a therapist or counsellor, i know the idea can be a little scary but they really do help you figure out things your never thought were an issue before. try your best to get away from the things that trigger you to cut. i also suggest telling someone thats older than you because you will most certainly get a reaction out of them. which over parent you feel closest too would be the best person to tell. make sure that you tell them that when you cut yourself you're not trying to kill yourself (thats the hardest part for people to understand) you obviously want the help so you're going to have to take the step and find it. your friends wont be able to do anything for you. they may be there to tell you that they think its a bad idea but thats never going to be enough to make you want to stop. please try your best to stop before it gets worse and more addictive.

ps. Emo is not a lifestyle. its actually a kind of music so you can't BE "emo"

xoox
best of luck

I can relate

After reading your post, I thought, "Wow, someone very similar to me!" I, too, am also almost 49 years old and still cutting. I started when I was 14 years old as a way of coping with depression and feelings of not being wanted or loved. I grew up in the home of an alcoholic father and enabling mother. I stopped cutting for years, replacing it with many other unhealthy things. Then about 3 years ago a situation with a friend made me start again. It was like it was lying dormant inside just waiting for the day when I needed it again. I have also joined a faith recovery group at a local church. It is a group for anybody with hurts, hang-ups, habits, (which includes all of us!). It listed addictions, so I went knowing that I might not fit in since I am a "cutter". I was just really desperate for support from others who understand and won't judge me for what I do. Each day is a struggle for sure, but I'm glad I reached out for help and someday I hope to help others too. Thank you for sharing!

Trying to stop

I also self harm, burn, cut and graze myself. I've done this since I was in primary school and I'm now 37. Just been within the last 12 months that people close to me have found out I had always been able to hide it before or have a logical explanation for the injuries. I have just spent 3 months in a Mental Health Institution and still have not been able to break the habit. I self harm to try and erase memories of my childhood and to help me cope when things trigger me back to the past. I really want to stop this. I'm sick of lying to my son about my scars. Thank you for posting this information it does help me feel not so alone in the way I cope with things. I continue with the daily battle of resisting self harm and hopefully soon it will be a thing of the past.

self harm

I know your hurting but cutting yourself isnt the way. You could try take up a sport or somthing to help you cope and if you dont like sports why not crafts or something because i had a friend who cut and it runed her life and she had to keep going into hospital and she still sees a counseler so please dont rune your life like she did

Totally understand

I am 23 years old and have been cutting for over 11 years.. I totally understand the feeling of being an adult in your mid 20's and feeling like you're doing something so stupid, yet you can't control it. You need to sit down and have a long talk with your fiance about self injury and why people do it. There is tons of literature out there for family members to read so they can understand it better.

http://self-injury.net/information-recovery/family-and-friends <--- Is a great site for family and friends to read. It's sooo hard for outsiders to understand why we do what we do. Keep fighting and finding support from other self injurers who understand.. but be careful.. a lot of people will just encourage you further instead of trying to help you stop.

If you'd like to talk, post your email address. Make sure to do it separated out though, or else spammers will get ahold of it.. for example, write your email like.. emailaddress at yahoo.

I really wish you the best, know that you're not alone.

Pain ...i cant get enough!

Im 15 yrs old i started cutting at 13 or 14 cant remember... in the school bathrooms>.>
I cant find any excuse to what im doing since my family is ok school is going just fine i have friends (great ones btw) and you could say my life is pretty nice..so why the hell do i cut?? maybe im just crazy...thats what i tell myself all the time.. i also break my bones, burn ,prick and pinch my skin, make bruises, once i tried to jump out of my window just to feel the glass cutting on my skin but i didnt do i in the end.
Also my friends at school know about it but they dont really care or maybe they dont know how to help.. i had a friend who SI herself too so we used to go to the school bathrooms and cut cut and cut al lot ha damn its so crazy... also my boyfriend discovered it when i had a lot of bandages around my arms since i had an 'episode' (when i cut myself more than 50 times in a row) haha so you can imagine the look of my arms at that time >.> ...but guess what he said?? he just said:- youre an EMO -and then he just turned around and left..but we kept dating (later we broke up).
So ..many people arund me know about it and they do nothing! its not that i want attention i want help! im fucking dying having suicide thoughts ect and this is my way of coping with it..a silent cry for help..yet NOBODY gives a damn..
When i told my best friend (who had anorexia) she was the one who understood me the most ..the day i told her we were chatting about her problems and i told her about it ,she was a bit hurt since i dint told her earlier, but ater we talked about if face to face and i showed her my scars and stuff i bet she thinks i a real emo now but she supports me just as i support her xD
Im labeled by all ppl an emo since i have sideswept bangs, wear emo stuf,f and i cut myself who knows maybe im really an emo?? haha
Well anyway im just crazy but i have been 'sober' from my drug about a month or so ..before i was 'sober' almost 6 months but i had an urge i couldnt resist..i get urges when i even think about it!after i cut myself i felt such a guilt that i decided id stop definitively! even so i think maybe im a masochist since i like pain so much, i feel so empty, yet i have no reason to be sad o depressed ... i feel just like this song:

Pain -three days grace-

"Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all!

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand

This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all"

k' ill just end it here ..this is getting long! haha well im doing my best to stop not because i want..just because of the scars since i dont want my family to find out since id be damned it they found out >.>
I wish you people the courage and will to stop this, cuz even if we know its wrong this is our drug our hold to life, but we have to stop it!
the best luck to all of you hope toy overcome it n__n
bye
if someone wants to talkmy msn is
susa_mayo@hotmail.com
say you re from SI.net

~hugz & love~
~lemon~

always

i have been cutting for as long as i remember. my mother used to say, "it's your body, and nobody can tell you what to do with it". i couldn't beleve it when my parents found out and locked me in mental institutions for 6 years. after a while, cutting was all i could rely on. i never felt good enough. i hate who i am, how i look, and how i feel, and feel others see it. im now 24 and still feel not good enough. my fiencee thinks it is childish, and maybe it is. in AA they say you are only as old as you were when you took your first drink. i have tried going to other addiction meetings, but it hasn't helped. it's just always there, tempting.....sometimes too tempting. the only thing i have found that has helped is meditation, but nothing is as satisfying. not in the least. it's like visting an old friend that loves you for who you are, and will always be there.........always