Quotes By Letter: M

“...guilt refined the methods of self-torture, threading the beads of detail into an eternal loop, a rosary to be fingered for a lifetime.”

-Atonement, Ian McEwan

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“Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short and wear shirts and boots because it's okay to be a boy; for girls it's like promotion. But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, according to you, because secretly you believe that being a girl is degrading.”

-The Cement Garden, Ian McEwan

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“... Delia's arms were inscribed with a grid of self- inflicted wounds, an intricate text of self-loathing...”

-Brightness Falls, Jay McInerney

Recommended by Haico.

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“The bleakness of the landscape is unimaginable. It is as friendless and alien as a Dali painting. Ordinary concerns, such as work or friends, have no place here. Futility muffles thought; time elongates cruelly. Who is to blame for this situation? Those with depression think it must be them. Pointlessness and self-loathing govern them. So the natural final step is suicide. People with depression don't kill themselves to frighten an errant boyfriend. They kill themselves because it is the obvious and right thing to do at that point. It is the only positive step they can think of. ”

-Kay McKall

Recommended by Shay.

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“One day, when Eve was in the eighth grade, she had pretended to have cramps and had been allowed to sit out on the sidelines. She was sitting on a bench, absorbed in reading Plato's Republic for the third time. Her mother called to her and asked her to hold the long rope hanging from the ceiling while she showed some girls in the class how to shinny up it. Her mother never gave up trying to drag Eve into the physical world. Every day after school, when Clare and her mother went to field hockey practice, Eve would rush back to the seminary just in time to attend her father's class on Systematic Theology. Eve prided herself on being totally out of shape and joked about not wanting any more muscles in her body than were absolutey necessary to enable her to turn a page in The Republic.

When Eve pretended not to hear her mother's request to hold the rope for her, her mother asked another girl in the gym class to do it. Eve peered over her book for a second to watch her mother climbing up the rope toward the ceiling. Despite being slightly overweight, her mother was very strong and agile. As she got almost to the top, the girl holding the rope at the bottom was suddenly knocked off her feet by a basketball careening through the air from the other end of the gym. The rope was jerked out of the girl's hand and spun out into the air. Up near the ceiling, Eve's mother lost her balance and began to fall. She grasped for the rope as she fell, but she and the rope were spinning away from each other in opposite directions and she couldn't regain her grip.

The Republic dropped out of Eve's hands with a thud when her mother hit the ground. All the girls began screaming and looking over at Eve. But Eve was paralyzed. She couldn't get up to go over to her mother, who lay perfectly still on the floor of the gym.

When the ambulance arrived, her mother was already dead. She had died the moment she hit the floor. There was no blood, and no external sign of injury. As they carried her mother out on the stretcher, Eve noticed she looked like she was sleeping. Eve reached down and picked up The Republic. The school nurse came over and led Eve out of the gym. Eve kept one finger in The Republic so as not to lose her place.”

-Eve's Longing: The Infinite Possibilities in All Things, Deborah McKay

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“I chose the shadows, they did not choose me, I stay here securely not just because I feel plain, but because disappearance is by now the easy way. The habit. The worn path that I can trod knowingly and be assured safe passage home.”

-Alone, Rod McKuen

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“My need for you is near addiction.”

-May 17, Rod McKuen

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“Adia I thought that we could make it
I know I can't change the way you feel
I leave you with your misery
a friend who won't betray
I pull you from your tower
I take away your pain
and show you all the beauty you possess
if you'd only let yourself believe that
we are born innocent.”

-Adia, Sarah McLachlan

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“I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless then maybe
I'll find some peace tonight.”

-Angel, Sarah McLachlan

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“You come out at night
That's when the energy comes
In the dark side's light
And the vampires roam
You stretch your rasta wear
And your suicide pole
And across from a faith that died
Before Jesus came
You're building a mystery

You live in a church
Where you sleep with voodoo dolls
And you won't give up the search
For the ghosts in the halls
You wear sandals in the snow
And a smile won't wash away
Can you look out the window
Without your shadow getting in the way?”

-Building a Mystery, Sarah McLachlan

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“You're a beautiful
A beautiful fucked up man
You're setting up your
Razor wire shrine.”

-Building a Mystery, Sarah McLachlan

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“Dear God,
Don't know if you noticed, but...
Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book,
Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look,
And all the people that you made in your image,
Still believing that junk is true
Well I know it ain't, and so do you

Dear God,
I can't believe in...
I don't believe in...

I won't believe in heaven and hell.
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well.
No pearly gates, no thorny crown.
You're always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
Those lost at sea and never found,
And it's the same the whole world 'round.
The hurt I see helps to compound
That Father, Son and Holy Ghost
Is just somebody's unholy hoax
And if you're up there you'd perceive
That my heart's here upon my sleeve.
If there's one thing I don't believe in.....

It's you.....
Dear God.”

-Dear God, Sarah McLachlan

Recommended by Ashley.

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“But I fear
I have nothing to give.
I have so much to lose here in this lonely place.
Tangled up in your embrace
There's there's nothing I'd like better than to fall.
But I fear I have nothing to give.”

-Fear, Sarah McLachlan

Recommended by Ashley.

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“The winter here's cold, and bitter
It's chilled us to the bone
We haven't seen the sun for weeks
Too long too far from home
I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness - I feel like letting go.”

-Full Of Grace, Sarah McLachlan

Recommended by Shay.

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“Listen as the wind blows
from across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning
memories trapped in time
The night is my companion
and solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here
and not be satisfied.”

-Posession, Sarah McLachlan

Recommended by Ashley.

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“Chase destruction of your own emotions
And your need for love, makes you easy prey
Safety of a rubber glove seems much too simple
Climbing up and down, waiting for the day.”

-Numb, Holly McNarland

Recommended by Shay.

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“Chase distraction of your own existence
Keep it clean, clean enough to stab
Lick your own wounds, anxious for the next one
Cry for more pain, heal what you have.”

-Numb, Holly McNarland

Recommended by Shay.

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“As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish, I wish he'd stay away.”

-The Psycho-ed, Hughes Mearns

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“She was lucky to be there, because he was the only man in the world. The others were clay models with bad joints, and needleholes for eyes, and hearts of meat. He was the only one who was alive. She had seen a man slaughtered and left for dead on the ground that day. The others were dead too, even the standing up and moving. Only this one was living. He bowed to her and spoke words and mounted his horse and rode away, taking with him something greater than all her joys before, and every atom in the world had cowled again when he had gone. She had a little of him in her camera. She ran inside to show it to herself.”

-The People's Act of Love, James Meek

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“The hussar looked at Anna, and her face burned and then went cold, because she understood that before that time she had never pleased anyone in the way that she pleased the young horseman, and yet she'd not spoken, and she didn't know what it meant, to delight a man only by the way she appeared, to be looked at as if time was running backwards and he'd come face to face with his dearest memory before she was a memory, knowing her completely in an instant and unknowing her in a life.”

-The People's Act of Love, James Meek

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“Skin is beautiful, don't ruin it with scars just because your life isn't as beautiful. For once life becomes beautiful to you again, your skin wont be so beautiful anymore.”

-Meg

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“I'm getting more pissed with every passing heartbeat. Yet, one can only wonder, isn't every passing heartbeat another step towards death? Are we not in this world, only so we can die? Is the only reason of living, dying? What purpose do we have, to get up every morning, to a scarred body, work, and do it all over again? Are nothing but toys to a supposed god, moving around and doing everything he 'commands'? Does this not mean that suicide is the easiest way out? People say that you shouldn't kill yourself because it's easy, well, isn't anyone who's ever cheated on anything taking the easy way out? So they really can't be saying nothing and still not be involved with hypocrisy. Do we live in a world of liars and hypocrites? Or do they just keep us alive for their own well-being, if they really loved you, they'd let you go to a place where you'd be in peace. This is were hatred comes from, too many people thinking about themselves and not letting others go, making them live a life they don't want to live anymore. Or maybe, the suicidal people are the selfish ones, only thinking about themselves and trying to escape to a better place. That, my friend, is what I want to know.”

-Ida Mehrnoush

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“'This' pain I can see it but I can't feel it
It haunts me
When I cut myself I can see where the pain
is coming from and watch it heal
And I can easily care for it
'This' pain doesn't have a specific place
It moves around and creeps into strange places.”

-Melanie - as seen in Marilee Strong's 'A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain'

Recommended by Lucky.

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“We are nothing, no-one. In search of kicks they can never give us. A three hundred and sixty degree circle dome of emptiness surrounds us. We are doomed forever to be addicted to a fatal germ of hatred for ourselves. Our redemption can be nothing but torment and pain. A thin clingy film of uncomfortable sweat covers us. The film covers our ears, our eyes, our mouths, our noses. We cannot move, think, feel. Utterly trapped in the gridlock of theories and concepts, there is no escape. You are a fraud, I am a fraud, you are a failure. I am a failure. You are condemned. I am condemned. Conditioned, controlled and condemned. Your life is just a single grain of sand in a vast desert. Live or die, it doesn't matter. The icy winds that blow carry nothing but hopelessness, worthlessness, pointlessness, misery. The more you just exist, just survive, just are, the more your soul erodes, the more you become an empty shell, a walking corpse. In short, the more you live, the less intelligent you become. Hate your life, love your death. Accept everything. Be used. Boredom is bliss.”

-Anthony Melder

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“Faith, like a jackal, feeds among the tombs, and even from these dead doubts she gathers her most vital hope.”

-Moby Dick, Herman Melville

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