Self-Injury: A Struggle

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No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.

-accepting Nobel Peace Prize, Elie Wiesel

~

It steadies me now but it won't forever. I've done my homework, read books, websites, and message boards, lurked on lists, and even questioned a social worker too exhausted to guard her words, and I know how bad the odds are for girls like me.

We wait to be rescued, but for whatever reason, no one comes. We figure that if no one protects us then we must not be worth protecting so we become prey and are easily picked off. Our wounded, kicked-puppy gazes attract sly predators and we sell ourselves for clearance sale prices, mistaking screwing for caring.

We binge, purge, sleep around. We drink too much and get too high, anything to blot out the past. We accept and endure beatings and humiliations because our fathers, our uncles, and our mothers' twisted boyfriends said they loved us, too, right before they broke our bones and tore our tissue, right before they made us recieve them.

I tighten the first screw. Oh yes, I have done my homework.

We have babies because we want them to love us, to make us important, but they only make us tired and fat and stinking of spit up because they're babies, not saviors. Their fathers leave us, sick of crap and sour milk, sweatpants and tears.

But the babies still need all of us, only there isn't anything left to give because we based our worth on the lowlifes who knocked us up and around.

So our babies end up screwed up and screwed with because now we're single again, too, so we're bringing home guys who secretly like pink satin baby skin more than our silvery stretch marks. We don't see what we should see because having anyone is still supposedly better than being alone.

-Such A Pretty Girl, Laura Wiess

~

The snow came down last night like moths
Burned on the moon; it fell till dawn,
Covered the town with simple cloths.

Absolute snow lies rumpled on
What shellbursts scattered and deranged,
Entangled railings, crevassed lawn.

You think: beyond the town a mile
Or two, this snowfall fills the eyes
Of soldiers dead a little while.

-First Snow In Alsace, Richard Wilbuar

~

I read about a woman,
someone famous,
who walked into a lake,
pockets loaded with stones.
They said she was mad.
I think she was brave.
As the water crept
over her chin, her nose,
how did she stop herself
from heaving out the stones?

-Jinx, Margaret Wild

~

A cigarette is the perfect type of pleasure. It is exquisite and leaves one unsatisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

~

A true friend stabs you in the front.

-Oscar Wilde

~

For us there is only one season, the season of sorrow.

-Oscar Wilde

~

It is not unbecoming for a man to seem like a child, in that he can recognize cynicism; only then will he understand the true nature of England.

-Oscar Wilde

Recommended by Jimmy Jones.

~

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

-Oscar Wilde

~

Every woman is a rebel, and usually in a wild revolt against herself.

-A Woman Of No Importance, Oscar Wilde

~

I love talking about nothing, father. It is the only thing I know anything about.

-An Ideal Husband, Oscar Wilde

~

For us there is only one season, the season of sorrow. The very sun and moon seem taken from us. Outside, the day may be blue and gold, but the light that creeps down through the thickly-muffled glass of the small iron-barred window beneath which one sits is gray and black. It is always twilight in one's cell, as it is always twilight in one's heart.

-De Profundis, Oscar Wilde

~

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

-De Profundis, Oscar Wilde

~

Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons. We can only record its moods, and chronicle their return. With us time itself does not progress. It revolves. It seems to circle round one centre of pain.

-De Profundis, Oscar Wilde

~

To the true cynic nothing is ever revealed.

-De Profundis, Oscar Wilde

~

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

-In conversation, Wit and Humor of Oscar Wilde, Oscar Wilde

~

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

-Lady Windermere's Fan, Oscar Wilde

~

Were we no better than chessmen, moved by an unseen power, vessels the potter fashions at his fancy, for honour or for shame? His reason revolted against it, and yet he felt that some tragedy was hanging over him, and that he had been suddenly called upon to bear an intolerable burden. Actors are so fortunate. They can choose whether they will suffer or make merry, laugh or shed tears. But in real life it is different. Most men and women are forced to play parts for which they have no qualifications. Our Guildensterns play Hamlet for us, and our Hamlets have to jest like Prince Hal. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

-Lord Arthur Savile's Crime, Oscar Wilde

~

My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.

-on his deathbed, Oscar Wilde

~

Put out the torches! Hide the moon! Hide the stars!

-Salomé, Oscar Wilde

Recommended by beck.

~

And with tears of blood he cleansed the hand,
The hand that held the steel:
For only blood can wipe out blood,
And only tears can heal.

-The Ballad of Reading Gaol, Oscar Wilde

~

Each man kills the thing he loves.

-The Ballad of Reading Gaol, Oscar Wilde

~

There is no sin except stupidity.

-The Critic As Artist, Oscar Wilde

~

I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.

-The Importance Of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde

~

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.

-The Importance Of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde

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