Printer-friendly version

I know a lot of people have hesitation with telling people about their issues with depression or eating disorders because they fear being labeled by those people who have very little understanding of mental health issues and gain most of it from depictions of high school in the media or jokes or equally ignorant peers. So if that is your fear tell those you trust, those who will do their best to try to understand instead of relying on tired stereotypes.

Perhaps you can start by writing a letter or e-mail if you want to test out the waters. Detail in this letter what you've been feeling and some of your history with feeling that way. If the other person has never dealt with mental health issues maybe include links to articles or books you feel are helpful and describe how depression or the aftereffects of an eating disorder are for you. You can also explain any fears you might have with telling the person about your problems, letting them know you're not used to other people knowing you struggle.

I wouldn't advise telling a great number of people like peers who aren't good friends or co-workers because they may not be worth your confidence and it may change the environment at school or work in a way that might make you uncomfortable.

Good friends and family are probably the best people to show your true self to. You might feel too unsure to show them a lot of what you feel but by building up a circle of support made up of people who you let into your confidence and who have shown themselves able to deal with your mental health issues you can at least let them know you aren't happy all the time, that there is more to you than the façade most people see.

Remember boundaries are good so that people don't get burned out, talk with them and ask them with what they're comfortable with. That might sound mean or counterproductive but it's important to keep it as comfortable as possible with the friends and family that know.

A support group (12-step or run by a therapist) might also be a good alternative if you have the means to get there and are too uncertain to lean on friends for help. Seeing a therapist or counselor might also be good because the decent ones (there are a few of those) will help you figure out a game plan on letting your friends and family know that you aren't as happy as your face might indicate. They also might help you figure out what to do if anything backfires and also see to it that you have support from them and a means of working on your issues with depression and your past eating disorder.