"No. It helps me when nothing else does, and I hate this body enough to not care about the damage."



"No, it is me, my scars are very important as making me the individual I am. Helps me cope."



"I tell myself that I want to stop, because I'm sick of hurting myself and I'm sick of the scars, but then a couple of days later I'm back to wanting the pain. A while ago, I was very serious about quitting and threw away my razor blades and talked it up to myself, and I haven't hurt myself since, but now I'm viewing it as simply postponing it until I truly feel bad enough that I can't stand it and there's nothing else to do. So basically, I want to stop SI'ing out of habit, but I'm not ready to give it up should I become unable to deal with myself again."



"I do want to stop. I hate all the scars and all the pain it causes the people who love me."



"This is a tough question. If I could go *poof* and never have the urge to hurt myself ever again, god, I'd do it. But it's not that simple. This is the only way I know how to deal with a lot of things. I hate having these scars, but in a way, I feel like I've earned them, that my outsides are as beat-up and scarred as my insides. I hate it, but I'm just not ready to give it up yet."



"Yes- of course I want to stop. Who would want to have these scars on them forever?"



"Yes I'm sick of lying about my wounds and scars. People will say things about my scars (without meaning to be mean) but I feel nasty and ugly. I want to (be) pretty and able to wear shorts without embarrassment. I know it is wrong and I want to do something to stop it."



"I wanted to stop because I wanted to remember how honesty felt and have kept going so that I can be proud of myself."



"No, I love it but was able to stop (except for punching) because my friend does drugs and I want her to stop and don't want to come off as a hypocrite if/when I finally tell her she's fucking herself up."



"I want to stop, because I don't want all these scars when I grow up, but as much as I wanna stop I can't."



"No, I don't want to stop. If I were to stop I would have nothing to control the anger and I would lose it completely."



"No. I want to feel things again (which I don't at the moment) but I have no thought whatsoever stopping SI. If I feel good ever again, I think my SI will disappear by itself."



"Of course I do. No one wants to be so unhappy that they think that their only answer is to cut themselves. I want to able to wear little tops and be normal like my friends - I just want to be like everybody else."



"Yes and no...yes because I'm tired of the questions and I'm scared I'll end up hurting myself really badly someday and no because it's my outlet and keeps me away from going totally crazy."



"Yes, because I know that I will never kill myself and I don't want a mass of scars for everybody to see."



"Yes, most of the time. I realize that it's not the best coping mechanism, but when that pain is so real and so right here, right now, it's hard to think that I want to stop, since it takes it away so efficiently, at least for the moment."



"Yes, because I don't like hurting myself and making myself bleed. But it's a control issue, this much I know. At least I can control the pain that happens to me!"



"Yes, for once if I really do stop, then I would know I had made a giant step in the right direction to helping me become fully emotionally healed."



"Yes, I do want to stop SI'ing, very much so. I want to stop because I know it is not an effective coping mechanism, and that it hurts my family and those who love me. But at the same time, no I don't want to because its how I cope and its the only thing that works."



"Sort of. Because I want to have a life. The scars will never fade. There must be a better way than tearing myself to pieces, not that I know of any yet, but I'm trying."



"I did and I want to keep it up. Someday, when I'm engaged and my husband to be or boyfriend or whomever looks at me and sees the scars, I don't want to still be ashamed of myself. And you know, I started cutting to get away from the pressure, but then the cutting became a stress of it's own. How to hide it, how to get more band aids, how to not feel guilty constantly. I needed to stop. I wanted control of my life and I thought the cutting gave me that, when actually the cutting took control of me."



"No, I don't think I'm ready for that. I can't imagine a life without SI. How else could I keep myself from going insane or committing suicide? SI is something I need at this point in my life."



"Yes and no...I know I need to, because I don't want to have to put my life on hold to do something about it- I am going to college now and that is what I want to be doing, and I'm afraid that if I don't stop I might jeopardize that. But I feel like I'm not ready, not capable of stopping yet."



Yeah, because it's not normal... people look at me and see a sick person, therapists a lot of times will try to hospitalize for it (which doesn't help) and basically it's not accepted in society. I want to be healthy, able to live a normal life, and i can't do that when i'm cutting. Or when i'm thinking about it all the time. And i don't want my little brother or sister to see me doing it and think it's ok. I don't want them to start cause it's such a hard thing to deal with. I just don't want to know that i've influenced them to harm themselves.



At the moment yes and no. It's my only way of coping so i don't know what i'd do with out it. But of course i want to stop because i want to be normal and be able to wear what i want with no scars and not worry about not putting myself near sharp objects which are tempting... i want to stop but i don't know if i can, or what i'd do if i did.



"I do want to stop, but only because it hurts other people when they know I cut, as they see themselves as the source of my pain. But if it wasn't for other people, I would see no reason to stop, because everyone has to have a coping skill. So what if mine happens to be SI? In my eyes it's better than drug or alcohol abuse."



"In my mind I know that SI is wrong, that it is detrimental to my well-being, etc., but it does seem to work when other things have not. I also have a very bad opinion of my body and maybe I think that if I have enough scars, my outside will finally match my inside."



NO! It's not life threatening for me, and it's a release that works. Actually, I'm real pissed because I used to be so dissociated, it wouldn't hurt, and I'd feel so good afterwards. But now it can be painful, and the cuts aren't as deep. I don't want to pull out of it. It's part of who I am.



"Right now I don't want to stop, cos it helps me get through the day sometimes. And it helps me with life and the problems that come with it. If I ever become a strong person in the future I might stop but it's always going to be an option if something goes wrong in life."



"no. because it's my drain. its my calming method. i've tried stopping, and i honestly can say that it was the hardest and most painful thing i've every tried doing. it's one of my many addictions and i can't give it up. i'm too unstable without it."

Part of me wants to stop, and part of me doesn't. The part that does is the logical part, the part that reminds me that I have a career to worry about, and friends and family I don't want to injure. The part that doesn't want to stop is that part that doesn't know how else to cope. It's also the part that reminds me that several members of my family -- on my father's side, which I take after in almost every way -- have committed suicide or overdosed on drugs because they didn't know how to cope. My way of coping may seem strange and repulsive to other people, but at least I'm not going so far as killing myself.

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 16 at the latest, college student (full time)]

Yes, no... i don't know really. So many pro's and cons. This is my body, i'm only hurting myself. then again, making yourself bleed untill u feel dizzy is not a healthy thing.

[male, age 18, began to SI at age 16, Uni student]

Yes. I'm currently trying to stop. Although I've tried before, I feel that this time I may succeed... I've gone exactly a month without hurting myself and I'm feeling really good about it.

I want to stop because I'm sick of feeling ashamed and alienated I guess. I don't want to see scars all over my body anymore. I don't want to live in fear that the people in my life will find out about what I do. I want to be healthy, and have healthy methods of coping.

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 12, first year university student]

No, not at this point of time. I dont want to stop right now because i am severely depressed, my meds arent working, and this seems to be the ONLY thing that makes me want to go on, it makes me feel better. this is the ONLY thing keeping me from killing myself.

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 14, high school student]

No, I don't. If I didn't have SI to cope, I might have committed suicide or something a long time ago. I have never been suicidal and never will be. I don't view SI as a very bad thing; I do not understand how people can say they have a bad habit and be AWARE they have it, yet they are unable to stop it.

[female, age 17, began to SI at age 14, HS student]

I feel like I should stop SI-ing, I know it's not the right thing to do. But SI keeps me calm and collected and I don't want to lose that, I like having the control over my pain. The problem is that the more dependant I get on the SI the harder it will be to control. For me, losing control of SI means injury on impulse, a disociative idnetity or voice in my head, and attemted suicide. Either way I lose control, which is why SI is such a struggle.

[female, age 18, began to SI at age 16, Art Student]

No. After nearly 3 years it's become a part of me. I need to feel better about myself, to feel better about what's around me. I need it to feel, and to control what I feel and to what intensity. SI has become my friend, my coping mechanism. While there are some that will never understand, that's alright. I need not justify what I feel what I feel, why I think or believe what I do, and why I have the need for self-inflicted pain; I simply do.

[female, age 15, began to SI at age 13, high school student]

i have no desire to stop. im sure i could. but i cant imagine what it would feel like without it. i think about stopping alot. but im not in to much danger really. i dont make myself bleed, im to afraid to. so why stop if its just like getting scratched by a cat or whatever?

[female, age 14, began to SI at age 12, student]

Yes I want to stop.

I quit six months ago after ten years of daily and constant self injury. Until last week I naïvely let myself believe I was doing well, but now I realize I have been relapsing without even being conscious of doing so. I have not been eating and I have been doing things such as trapping my fingers in doors and playing with scissors, causing cuts, without really even being conscious of doing so…until recently, and now I feel naïve and dumb for believing I was doing so well and now I am left wondering whether I even want to carry on without self harm, you start questioning why you even tried to stop and what good it has done.

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 6, College Student]

In a way, yes, because I'm a vain person and my scars are permanent and not attractive to my vain mentality, but at the same time, I don't. I know it's an unhealthy way to deal with emotional pain, but I've yet to find a more effective one, and so I'm not really ready to stop yet.

[female, age 20, began to SI at age 13 or so (cutting very recent), College student]

Deep down, I really don't want to stop. I am so addicted, that carrying out hurting myself is no longer a grueling ordeal. It's a guilty pleasure. I have forgotten any other way to cope during big problems, so I have turned to self-injurey. I find myself angry at my parents for making me stop, when "its my own life." I wish that I could just be seperated from my parents so i don't have to feel so guilty after harming myself. Right now, no. I don't feel any drive to stop hurting myself.

[female, age 14, began to SI at age 11, High School student]

Yes and no. I want to stop SI-ing because i hurt all my friend and family. I hurt myself, I hurt God. I hate the scars, i hate waking up sometimes and i'm in blood stained sheets. I hate having to see disappointed faces when they see a gash in my arm. I hate the way that I have to hurt myself to make myself feel normal. I hate the way that SI is my closet friend and worst enemy. I hate the way it makes me hate myself. I hate it. but at the same time i love it because it has kept me going, it has given me something to express myself in. I wish i was strong enough to stop. I hate the way i feel after I self harm, i hate the feeling that i have to punish myself. I hate they way that this twisted addiction is what i rely on- it has kept me alive but is slowly killing me.

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 12, high school student]