"I only got to know people who SI after I started doing it myself. I met someone at the psych ward I was in; years later my best friend started SI'ing; then my sister. It made me feel guilty as hell and also increased need to cut, it became more tempting."



"Yes, I started when a friend did online. Now I'm sooo sorry I did it."



"No. Before I actually began cutting, but after I had found myself in situations with a knife over my wrist, daring myself to, I read "Prozac Nation" in which Elizabeth Wurtzel talks about cutting her legs up as a child. A few weeks later, I scratched my ankles with scissors, and was quite mad at myself for "copying someone else's behavior" but justified it with the fact that I'd been hitting myself months beforehand. Because of that, I'm not really sure if it was my own idea to hurt myself or if I was following someone's example."



"I have one friend who cut herself once, and once who cut herself over a few years. I'd been cutting myself for a while before I knew either of them did it. I don't really think this has had an influence on my behavior, at least on a conscious level."



"I have a friend who SI's. She has taken the lesson from me and has stopped for 8 months. We support each other plus we're both in heavy-duty outpatient care."


"On of my friends sister SI'ed. I didn't know she did until I was there one day and she was just sitting on the kitchen counter with a roasting fork scratching her wrist. I was after I was caught. It fascinated me that she just did it right there. I think she inspires me to be a little less secretive about it. She was someone I really looked up to."



"A girl I met in high school originally gave me the idea when she told me she cuts herself. When I went home that day I tried it for the first time although I didn't cut myself, just ran a knife harmlessly over my skin."



"My friend(s) did, one of them still does a little...actually they did introduce me to the outlet, and I kinda wish they hadn't, but in a way I'm glad they did."



"Not until after i started SI. Then i started realizing i knew others who did it too. Now i know of at least three people who still actively hurt themselves. Yeah, they totally have an effect on my SI. If i'm feeling like i want to cut, and i see their scars, it makes it harder to not cut. It triggers me into doing it when i really didn't want to. It kind of subconsciously makes me feel like what i do is ok cause they're doing it too (even though i know it's not ok)."



"Before i started SI-ing i had never even heard of it. In my family it was a matter of disgust... my mother believes 'self-mutilation' (i hate that terminology) was repulsive. (which is why i will never tell her). Once i started to SI i heard more about it and it started popping up everywhere. I don't think i have been influenced by anyone."



"I read an article in Seventeen magazine a long time ago. I didn't think much of it at the time. Then my little sister cut herself once for attention, and a bit after that, I tried it in secret, and felt like I'd discovered a gold mine."



"My best friend burns herself. She keeps her hands under burning water as long as she can. We found out about each other after we started, I don't think it's really affected us that much, except she tries to get me to stop, she thinks cutting is worse than burning."



"when I was first hospitalized (for suicidal tendencies), my roommate taught me how to SI and I became addicted; my sister and at least two of my friends do it or have done it, however I think I influenced them... my mom does it too (by banging her head), and she definitely influences me."



"i have a friend who SI'd a few times but i'm almost certain it was primarily for attention as everyone found out about it and was really "worried" about her. all her close friends knew it was one of her attention stunts. this has not had much influence on my behavior, except that i'm far more discreet than i was at first as i don't want people to find out."

A good friend of mine SIed for years, but says she's more or less stopped. Not willingly, but her father threatened to kick her out of the house and completely cut off her anti-depressant medications, which would make her even worse. She's gone from carving deep words on her arms to just scraping her wrists against paper towel and toilet paper dispensers. When I first learned she SIed, it made me feel so much better. I knew it wasn't good for her, and I honestly tried to get her to stop -- I succeeded partially, as she cut herself less frequently and less deeply until I graduated, at least -- but it was so good to know that I wasn't crazy, I wasn't the only person in the world hurting myself.

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 16 at the latest, college student (full time)]

Yes, I know that a girl in my band does it as well, and a boy in my band used to do it. But I have never talked to them about it, and I don't think they know I do it. Since she cuts her arms it's very visible, so a lot of people knows about it and find it not so weird. I think the fact that it's socially accepted among my friends has made it easier for me to go on with it, I keep telling myself that it's a normal thing to do. But when I started I didn't know anyone.

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 18, University student]

I know of at least 10+ people I have met that either did or still do SI. 2 of my good friends used to SI for a short period of time, and 2 others still do SI as far as I know. My sister also used to cut herself, but she usually carved words like "anti-Christ" and things like that into herself because she thought it was "cool".

None of the people I know who SI caused me to begin SI-ing. I began before I knew anything about the disorder whatsoever... however, my friend used to carve whatever emotion or expression she was feeling into her skin, and after seeing this, I decided I would try it. Also I once met a girl who had put a cigarette out in her arm. I was curious as to whether or not this would have the same effect at cutting, and so that is when I began to burn.

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 12, first year university student]

I had a friend in my freshman year of high school that showed me a little cut on her hand, and I kind of freaked out, especially since she was kind of suicidal and stuff. I hadn't cut then, and I didnt understand the meaning behind the cuts, so that's probably why I freaked. I went and told one of the school counselors about her, and she was a little mad at me, but I think it helped her in the end. I dont know if she still cuts, though. It didnt really influence the start of my cutting, but since I knew that I reacted like that to her, I was more careful about hiding my cuts since I didnt want people to react that way to me.

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 14, high school student]

I know people that have SI-ed before but I found about them after I had started myself. The biggest influence in my beginning to SI was seeing it done on TV and in books.

[female, age 18, began to SI at age 16, Art Student]

my best friend does it. im terrified that im the whole influence on it too. iv been cutting since i was twelve and she knows it...and she's been going through her emotional stressful stages and life is complete hell, and she's always comparing her pain to mine and saying my pain is worse and stuff. and then one day i found red lines all over her arms and we talked it over a little and now its part of our lives really. but every time she tells me she cut, i cry and i force myself to cut. it's my fault she's cutting. she was terrified of cutters and blood and pain until she met me last year. i feel so terrible for it all.

[female, age 14, began to SI at age 12, student]

My mother has been anorexic bulimic for twenty nine years and uses the eating disorder as a form of self mutilation, both my brothers have engaged in acts of self mutilation through burning and cutting themselves as well as through drug use and body modification and many of my friends often use drugs, alcohol, body modification, sex and even self harm for the rush and pleasure they all bring.

I believe the environment I have grown up in has contributed to my self mutilating behavior, watching my mother starve herself from a young age and experiencing a lot of people close to me use methods such as drugs, alcohol, sex and self injury to cope gave me an easy entrance into doing the same, although I had already began self harming, through various means, when my eyes were opened to much of this I do believe it has had an impact upon me.

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 6, College Student]

I know quite a few people. My friend charlotte- unfortunately i think i infulenced her behaviour, by accident- i would never do it on purpose. Another friend- she hasnt influenced me- as i want to stop because i know it hurts her to see me do it too- shes tried to kill herself 6times. Another friend- he tries to get me to stop-but also says i should sometimes when i feel really bad. There are about another 3 people i know who do- they don't really influence me.

For me it is the people who don't that know i do who influence me. I felt like crap in my physics lesson- my friend gave me her pencil sharpener blade to cut myself with.

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 12, high school student]

My best friend has for years. She recently celebrated her 1 year mark with out SI. I'm very proud of her. When we found out about each other a couple of years ago (we were both SIing, but neither one of us knew about the other), we started off being very supportive. Eventually, though, it became some kind of unspoken contest. Whenever one of us would cut, the other would the next day. In a "you did it so why can't i?" fashion. This disgusts and saddens me.

My boyfriend started SIing this year. It makes me so sad to see him in that kind of pain, and i can't help but feel like it's my fault, sometimes. I know this is irrational thinking, though. Being around him, seeing his cuts and scars, is very triggering to me.

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 9, high school student]

My husband SIed in high school, but it was completely a 'gothic, morbid' thing that a bunch of them did because, well, everyone did in their group. It was never out of a need or a disorder, it was just a thing to do. I've never met anyone who has SIed because of a real need or problem.

[female, age 22, began to SI at age 15, college]

The first person I remember knowing who SIed was a good friend of mine in high school. C. and I were sitting around with two of our other friends when she said she wanted to tell us something. She hemmed and hawed, trying to work up the courage, and we all began to guess what it was. C. said it was something she did a lot, something she was addicted to. After a few guesses, it hit me and I knew. "You cut yourself." She had been doing for about five years at that point, and she was working hard to stop, which I think she has, now. I have gotten some ideas from her-- how to hide them, using razors, etc. We had the same therapist, and she was very supportive of me getting help and getting better. Sometimes her depression dragged me down, and I worried about her a lot, which was stressful. Most of the time, i find her strength and her perserverance through all the pain of her life an inspiration. She has moved away, and we don't see each other or speak regularly.
I have reason to believe that my sister has SIed, but I've never confronted her about it.

[female, age 20, began to SI at age 7]

One of my friends did it. She did it before I did it, but I don´t think that she influenced me a lot. When I told her about it she told me not to do it lengthwise, because it would be more dangerous. She doesn´t cut herself and smoke marijuana because she sees more sence in life, she allmost quit smoking >> She is pregnant now, from her boyfriend(also 15 years old), and she will give birth to her baby on her 16th birthday. Because of this she also managed to finish compulsory education.

Her elder sister did it to, but I didn´t know that when I began. She also suffers from bulimia (or anorexia, depends on how long she is able not to eat much).

Last week I met a friend of my boyfriend. She is 23, has many scars, but she also quit. One year ago she was in hospital because she had tried to kill herself. Now she has to take a lot of medicaments every day, so she seems as if she was on drugs. She suffers from Borderline Personality. But I don´t think that I would ever end that way...

[female, age 15, began to SI at age 14]