"I once cut in class and someone came in, but I made sure that I would be able to hide it, so she didn't notice. Sometimes when I can't stand the inner pressure I scratch myself to the point of bleeding, but no one notices because I do it very quickly and pretend that I'm just scratching an itch or something. I don't scratch where people can see. But SI'ing in front of people who can see and are aware of what I'm doing, no, I haven't done that, I don't think I can. I was caught once by my mother. I thought I had manage to clean all the blood before she got there (it was in the middle of the night, didn't expect her to wake up) but she said she could smell it. One time I had to tell my parents because I lost a lot of blood and felt like I was going to pass out, and I needed someone to take me to the ER."



"No. One time my best friend and cousin found my blade collection under a blanket."



"A girl in one of my classes once said to me, point blank "ohh, you have cuts on your hand. Are you a cutter?" Apparently she had seen a program on self-injury on some news show and was joking with me. I didn't really answer, and she was too busy telling someone else about the show to notice."



"It's the time I'm alone when I SI. I've been caught many times, but the odd thing is I tell them a lie, and they believed me. But there was this one time my PE teacher caught me. He practically counsels me now. He checks my arms every day."



"I've always cut in secret, but I've recently been caught. My friend saw what I'd done and when she left the room to get something I did it again and my friends saw her bandaging it up. I was drunk."



"I used to do it every day on my ankles at lunchtime, in front of my friends. If I get really upset I take my razor out and go at it as long as there aren't any authority figures around. I got caught once when I was twelve when one of my friends told his mom and she told my mom. My parents saw the gash on my leg, but I just say I don't know and make an excuse to leave the room if they start asking questions."



"I know I have while I was on the phone with people, and I have gone into another room and done it, but I don't think anyone has ever literally seen me do it."



"No, I wouldn't dare do that. I know what I'm doing isn't socially acceptable and I'm afraid of what others would think of or do to me if I just started pulling out the X-Acto knife. I almost got caught by my roomie last night. He knocked on my bedroom door and I yelled at him to go away. I quickly wrapped a t-shirt around my arm and hid under the blankets."



"No, thank God. My mom almost caught me once. She wanted in the bathroom so I had to hide the razor and bloody toilet tissue under the sink. I looked absolutely ridiculous. But both my parents knew I was doing it."



"I have done it in front of others, right at the beginning...but I just wanted to be different...I haven't done it in front of anyone in the past year and a half, at least."



"Sometimes I cut my arms with my nails in class. When ever I think any one is watching I stop. Sometimes. I don't do it for attention, but sometimes it's like a power trip, it's almost like saying, 'You can't hurt me, the only one who can hurt me, is me. And you can't stop me. You just have to watch me do this, and feel bad.' "



"I've never been caught SI-ing, but just today my sister saw the scratches on my arm (my shirt sleeve had slid up, revealing them) and she told my mom."



"At my friend's house I took this knife she had on her desk and started to barely carve in my arm and she just took it away and kinda pretended like it was nothing...I wanted her to fully believe that I did it because I had told her about it before."



"Yes, I used to do it in front of people all the time. I like it because it made me feel stronger than everyone else. They would all be so disgusted, but I was stronger than the pain, and I would just laugh. Then I got caught when I did it in art class. So now, I do it in secret because I don't want my parents to know I still do it."



"Yes, I lost it one night and started beating on myself in front of a close friend. He had never seen this side of me and his immediate reaction was to wrap his strong arms around me and hold me tightly until my rage finally let go. Although I realized this friend must have thought I had gone crazy while I was struggling to break free of his holding me, I still could not stop myself, until I was too tired to continue struggling. I was sitting on the side of my bed at the time I started beating myself, and my dear friend, literally used his legs and arms to try to pin me to the bed so I could not hurt myself. The tighter he held me, the fiercer I fought back to try to hurt myself!!!!!!!!!"



"Never. I refuse to get caught, and I would never let anyone find out. I am so sure they would think I was psycho. And I would hate for my parents to think that I'm messed up, because I'm not. I've never had any traumatic event in my life that would make me do this. I just do it."



"Not in front of anyone, but after I did it I was wearing a tank top and my friend saw at a dance and pointed at it, but didn't say anything and my other friend noticed it later when I fucked up my knuckles."



"Yeah i burnt myself with my cars cig. lighter while stopped at a red light and some guy saw me.... that happened twice it was a shock to me as well as them. And one time i was home alone, and i wanted to cut, so i took out my needle, took off my jeans and started cutting my legs. My grandfather came home and was opening the door and i just barely got to my room without him knowing what i was doing (or seeing me in my underwear)."



"No, it's a very private thing. I think if someone else was there I'd get self-conscious and wimp out. I've never even been close to being caught- from the beginning I've been very careful to make sure there's no chance anyone could see me and decide to lock me away. I know that slicing myself open is not a socially acceptable past-time, and it would freak out anyone who saw me. I don't want to do that to people I like, and I don't trust the people I don't like to not do something drastic."



"I've SI-ed in front of one person. We did it as our last time, so as to form a pact that we wouldn't SI again. It didn't last. The only time I've been caught was by my parents in 8th grade, 3 years ago. My mother read my journal, freaked out and sent me to a therapist. It was awful, and I got out as soon as I could. Since then a lot of people have found out, all my friends know, and my parents know that I'm still doing it. But I haven't been caught in the way that comes with some sort of punishment."



"I cut my left arm in front of about eight people. They looked over at me, at what I was doing, but I'm assuming they didn't know exactly what I was doing, because they didn't say or do anything."



"Yes, I have SI- in front of someone. Once with an suicidal boy, but he stopped me. And once together with other SI people but it didn't feel right. It is for me something private.[br][br]
I have been caught many times two years ago when I was admitted at the psychiatric ward of a hospital in Bruge. There was always someone telling on me, whenever i locked myself too long in the bathroom. But now nobody notice me doing it."

I ripped out huge chunks of my hair in front of my high school marching band during practice. They knew it was stress, but they thought I overreacted -- they didn't realize it was the only way to cope. I've burnt myself in front of a couple of friends, too. They thought nothing of it, as I'm slightly masochistic, but I wasn't doing it for pleasure. I was stressed, and I didn't want to ruin everyone's day, so I just burnt myself. The only time I've come close to being 'caught' is when my mom saw one of my more recent burns the other day. She asked what it was, and I just jerked away and said I had no idea. Fortunately for me I was PMSing, and the whole family knew, so she didn't press it any further. I've also hurt myself in front of a friend who also SIs.

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 16 at the latest, college student (full time)]

i have never done it in front of anyone. i was nearly caught burning myself at school once, when i thought i had this little club office to myself with the lights out and door locked. someone came in aobut 20 seconds after i had stopped branding myself. Another incident, i had to go to my mother after i cut myself to get to the hospital to have it stitched. that's not exactly caught... but i was exposed.

[female, age 18, began to SI at age 12, university student]

The only person I have ever SI-ed in front of was my best friend. She also SI-ed at the time, and we had both known for years that each other had the same problem. We were both drunk once and both feeling depressed, so we Si-ed while in the same room together.

My sister once walked in on me about to cut myself, and knew what I was doing, but since I hadn't done anything yet, she simply kind of bothered me about what I was doing (tried to scare me) and then left.

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 12, first year university student]

I once cut with Katelyn in the back of the school but with torn Cola can. I was caught once my mom after a petty fight between us. I had broken a tic tac container to scratch with in my room. She already knew by that point. After she saw me, I locked myself in the bathroom.

[female, age 15, began to SI at age 13, high school (freshman)]

No, never in front of anyone, and I haven't ever been caught, but I have been reported. I was putting up a poster at school and as I raised my arms, my shirt went up a little bit and my stomach showed and I didnt notice..a girl saw scars.. she asked what are those and I said I had unprotected sex with a porcupine. I couldnt think of anything else to say and thought she would just laugh it off...anyway I had to go to counseling and therapy and a doctor and all that crap...:-(

[female, age 17, began to SI at age 14, HS student]

I have used body modification as a form of self injury so, yes, people have been present. I have also twice been seen self harming, the first time I was in school and the student that witnessed me stab myself said nothing that I know of either to me or to anyone else. The second person that experienced watching me self harm was self harming herself at the time and made me crave. I was sat trying to ignore her self mutilating, but eventually I joined her, not to do so in public just because I forgot myself and let the craving dictate what I did.

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 6, College Student]

I have. Many times, in fact i did today. the worst incident was when I cut in my physics class under the table. my physics teacher saw me- i got a lot of blood on the floor. It was a bad cut. He took me into the prep room and had to bandage me up. And told me " i can't have you bleeding over my floor"- he and i don't get along very well. That day he went and told all the school councellors- he saw all my other scars on my arms as he bandaged me up.

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 12, high school student]

I got drunk once and tried - unsuccessfully - to cut my arm with scissors in front of my roommate. She took the scissors and told me that I didn't want to do that. Other than that, never in front of anyone. My husband, however, caught me one night after a fight. I went in the bathroom and cut for what seemed like forever. I opened the door and he was standing there, glaring at me. He took my box (I used to keep it all in a box) and threw it off the balcony. It landed in the neighbors yard - God knows what they thought, or did with it. My husband was really upset, and tried to grab my arms, and I screamed DON'T TOUCH ME. I passed out in bed a few minutes later.

[female, age 22, began to SI at age 15, college]

yes, my then boyfriend. we were sitting on his bed. we were the only ones home. he knew that i had this problem. he had two razor blades that he had used to carve patterns into mirrors. i took one. he saw this and asked for it back. he knew what i wanted to do with it. i put it behind my back and quickly made two slashes before i gave it back to him. he was very good about it. it was such a perfect razor, i couldnt resist. it was like i was suddenly posessed by this desire. i dont know why i did it. he took my hand and examined my wrist. i was ashamed, and i blushed deeply. he kissed the scratches, and begged me to stop because he cared about me. i sobbingly promised. and then, of course, we got high, and had sex, as was the basis of our relationship.

[female, age 17, began to SI at age 14, high school student]

no, but my friend has. it really freaked me out...im not sure why though. my mom saw my scars when i first did it. i had two small cuts on my left wrist and i lied about it, but she wound up figuring it out. my parents tried talking to me about it, but it just made it worse. i also started listening to heavy metal and wearing a lot of black during that time, so they lectured me about that. at first they thought it was their fault, then they thought i was doing it to be in some sort of cult or w/e, which really pissed me off. they also thought one of my best friends "made" me do it becuase he made me present for my birthday and it had a lot of black and red that looked like "blood". I stopped for a month becuase my mom threatened to take me to a mental hospital if i did it again, but i couldnt stand it anymore and started doing it again anyways. its been 3 months since then and they have no idea.

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 16, high school student]