"I'm open about it. My best friend knows that I still do it; other people, including my family, think that it's over. I was never ashamed, for some reason. I told because I was scared I was going crazy."



"I've told my best friend, who was curious about an old scar on my hand, and also my brother. My friend was obviously quite upset, and I wasn't ready to deal with it at the time, so that created an uncomfortably situation for a while. She never brings it up, and I never bring it up, but every once in a while I'll give her a poem I've written or something, but if it still bothers her I don't know. The people I've told have been important to me, and I didn't want to come up with a lame lie that's easy to see through. The people I brush off with "it's a long story" catch me off guard."



"My boyfriend is the only one who knows. I don't think he totally understands, but he's supportive. He confessed that he had a serious problems with controlling his aggression. He'd beat one of his ex-girlfriends and was terrified to tell me. He's never done anything to me because he's worked very hard to learn to deal with his anger, but he was afraid I'd hate him for it. After he'd told me all of this, I felt like we were such similar creatures. The only difference was that I took it out on myself. That's when I showed him the scars on my arms."



"Yes. Several of my closest friends know, as do my therapist and pastor. (I told because) I knew that I was not coping with problems in an appropriate manner and needed to get help because the SI was getting worse."



"I told people in the State Hospital, but a lot of them SI'ed too, so I didn't feel bad about it really. I haven't told anybody else, the people who do know have seen the scars or cuts and know what I'm doing, but I didn't tell them."



"Well one of my friends (lyn) found out because I had a whole bunch of cuts down my arm and I told one of my really good friends (justin) that has been through a lot of stuff similar to this."



"I have told out of guilt (my supervisors) and out of need to have someone who understands. I think sometimes I am also testing my friendships...I tend to believe that people who I care about end up leaving me. So I think sometimes I assume that this SI thing I do will so disgust, revolt, scare, etc. them that they will also leave me. So I guess I am trying to push them away before they can leave ME."



"[No.] I'm just so afraid I'll end up in a psycho ward with my mother crying and looking so haggard. I feel that I have way to much of a future to mess it up with this."



"Just my two closest friends, and since they have heard me tell them the story of my now deceased biological Mothers abuse to me, my friends understand I am badly scarred for life. As much as they wish I did not "blow up" towards myself, they don't condemn me for it, but supply a supportive loving friendship to help me slowly heal."



"People have seen my scars, my ex-boyfriend knew and thought I was a freak but I never told him why, I've told Tom, my closest friend, I sent him a web page to explain it, he seems really understanding now and I'm glad he knows although he doesn't talk about it with me anymore and I wish he would, but I don't like to bring it up, I just wish he would ask me about it."



"Yes, I told a few close friends and my school found out, and then my mom found out but I made all the adults believe it was a one time thing and that I am over it cos they didn't understand despite saying they did. I hate people on my back about it & watching me all the time. My boyfriend knows, and so does one of my best friends and another really good friend. They are all good about it, but I am still working up the courage to tell my other best friend."



"Oh, yes. My older sister: she was mad and wanted me to stop. I told a handful of people in high school, like the social worker they made me see, my shrink, my best friend (my best friend cried and tried to understand). The high school people made a big deal about it and made it even worse. Recently, I told my boyfriend when he asked about the scars, and he was like, "oh. Well I guess it's your arms.""



"actually people found out about it when I first did it at the hospital, and therapist find out about it from my old records; my old high school counselor, though, was just incredibly trustworthy, and I felt she wouldn't judge me... I needed someone to understand me without getting angry or immediately telling my mom, and she was the one."

I've never actually told the (former?) SI-er friend I mentioned above, but she's seen me hurt myself, so she knows. I once tried to tell my sister, and another time I told a friend of my mine, but I don't think they understood. Once again, they thought I was just referring to my normal masochistic tendencies, and I WASN'T. I told my whole family about ripping my hair out, and they immediately dropped -- and later dodged -- the subject in all its forms.

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 16 at the latest, college student (full time)]

My husband knows it, and he doesn't appreciate it, getting all excited seeing the scars. And he was the reason I stopped it, and I promised that I'd never do it again. But I am still haunted by those visions, and I still have the strong desire to do it again, I think it will never go away, but I try to keep it under control.

I told it to some random internet persons as well, just so, it's not really worth mentioning.

[female, age 18, began to think of SI at age 6 and can't remember when she began to SI, high school student]